Gee-Whiz 20

Grow up for frack sakes.

Howdy boys & girls. Tiz an appalled Scrubbie here.

Now ya'll know I try not to rant too much. I mean, who really cares? Lets face it - the 'ol Scrub blog aint the place to come and find the latest news or glean insight into life and politics. I am VERY sure you have other places to go and find out that stuff. Scrub just ain't that clever.

We kewl on that? Ok.

So - all the bigshots of the world decided to pop on in to us here in the Great White to have a little chit chat about what's goin on in the world. Well... either that, or they're just gettin' together to have a coffee and hang out for a bit. Ya know - catch up.

In private - you gotta wonder what they say. "Hey - hows the wife?"

"I hope they're not serving fish for lunch."

"Maybe this'd be more fun if we all had Vuvuzela's."

"Check out what he's wearing."

Listen - I'm all for free speech. (Those of you visiting from places afar - it's pretty kewl here. Basically you're allowed to get together in groups in public, say what you want, whatever. As long as you do it peacefully and don't get all up in someone's face sorta thing. You should try it.)

And, here in the Great White - while all the big shots are parading around - there were lots of folks that were hanging out with signs and loud-shouty-things protesting this and that. It's kewl. It's all good.

Then - outa nowhere - come these arseholes. Dressed all in black. With their faces covered. Coward bastards. And start smashing windows. Tipping shit over. Breaking everything they can get their frackin' hands on. They even torched a couple of police cars. What the frack!?

Ok - so here's the deal:

1. It was mayhem. For no reason. Didn't your mothers teach you how to play nice?

2. For those that were protesting and demonstrating and getting their messages out peacefully - I'm really sorry that these dicks got in the way. Seriously - I apologize on behalf of all of us who were respecting what you were doing and listening to what you had to say. I'm sorry your actions got overshadowed by dipshits.

3. Likely more than half of these idiots were not protesting. They were not demonstrating. They were not trying to solicit attention to a worthy cause. They were not trying to effect change that would better the lives of people here in Canada or abroad. They were not trying to communicate messages that would improve and preserve the environment for our children and grandchildren. No. They were likely just breaking stuff for the sake of running amok and giggling that they managed to get on TV.

To all those who came to Canada to participate in these big shot meetings - as participants, as witnesses, as security or as media to share the event with the world - I, for one, am truly embarrassed that this behaviour went on and I apologize to you.

We Canucks are, for the most part, a pretty decent lot. We generally open our arms, our hearts and our homes to prit' near anyone - whether you are looking for help or just crusin' through. We have a bit of a reputation for being polite. Hey - there are worse things we could be called.

In the end though kids... it comes down to this -

I think it's great that we can bitch and complain. I think it's wonderful that we have the freedom and the right to express our opinions. I think it's really bitchin' that we can publicly share our ideas and solicit the support of friends and neighbours to get the ball rollin' to effect change in our world.

But - don't go breaking other people's stuff and making us all look like arseholes. You DONT have the right to do THAT.

T-minus 36.5 hours.

If nothing else... we are consistent.

Morning kiddies - yer old pal Scrub here. How are ya?

Ok - so the wife and me.... we have a Kid.

Darlin' beastie, he is.

The kid - he's 13 right now. Comin' up to 14.

And, the Kid... is just closing out his school year of Grade 8. Here in the Great White - we call this "middle school". Sometimes it's referred to as "transitional school".

In Scrubs corner of the country, all the kids leave their elementary schools at the end of Grade 6 and all truck on in to a centrally located building that is their "middle school".

It's the weird little hump of Grades 7 and 8 where all the kids are too old to be cute, too young to be useful, all of them are hitting puberty so their all goofy, clumsy and stupid.

It was, it seems, the best solution, to keep hoards of hormonally transitional morons contained for a couple of years while they get themselves somewhat sorted out.

Anyway... the point here is that the Kid is graduatin' 8th Grade. He's practically done. Tomorrow, Monday, is his official Grad ceremony. Tuesday, he and all the other hooligans are going off to one of Canada's great amusement parks. Then.... that's it. Done. Finito. Finished.

This has happened many times. Not the amusement park. (well - we have done that many times. not what I mean though). Referring to Graduating. Graduating has happened many times. Kindergarten to Grade 1. Grade 1 to Grade 2. Grade 2 to Grade 3. You get the idea.

Not every year has been filled with pomp and circumstance like this one.

This year - it's a fancy affair.

This year - we are all headin' off to one of Scrubs' local village gathering halls - rather fancy and big one - and there, the Kid will parade across a stage after hearin' his name called, to receive his diploma and then he'll be wished good luck as he moves to high school in September.

There'll be music. Food. Fancy furs and skins on everyone. Lots of photos being taken.

And this, boys and girls, brings me to the topic of the day.

See - For many years... well since Kindergarten.... The Wife and me have been snapping pics of the Kid.

That includes at this time of year when the lad is making his strides forward from one schoolin' grade to the next.

I wont bore you with all the pics. But, I'll describe a few of them.

The kid - handsome, cute, smiling, laceration across the chin.

The kid - handsome, cute, smiling, stitches below the eyebrow.

The kid - handsome, cute, smiling, black eye.

The kid - handsome, cute, smiling, fat lip.

Are you seeing a pattern here?

The Wife and me - we almost gave up.

Every grad pic - the Kid has an injury somewhere. Family/Childrens Services would have a hey-day with this mountain of evidence.

Yes - we almost gave up.

Almost.

But, this year rolled along - and there was a glimmer of hope. We're but a mere 36 hours from graduation.

We're counting down the hours.

Then - it happened.

10:30 last night.

36. 5 hours from graduation.

It happened.

The Kid - busted up a digit.

And one of the good ones too.

Up to the hospital.

X-rays.

Pretty pictures of a bone with a crack in it.

Crazy-ass splint on the finger.

And, another picture of our son. Handsome, cute, smiling, busted finger.

Look out Grade 9. Here we come.

Hey Buddy. Would you mind not parking your black hole on my lawn?

*Squeal!

Morning Scrubs, Scrubettes. It's yer old pal Scrubbie here. How are ya?

He's here! He's here! *Scrub sings while doing a little jig.

Ok. I admit it. I am a bit of a geek. But - c'mon... you gotta admit. It's like having a bit of a celebrity right here on the front step of the Scrub Shack. Uber Geek Stephen Hawking - here. Right here. Right HERE!

I can practically feel my own quantum atoms vibrating a light speed, I am so excited!

Huh? You don't feel it?

Hmmmmm. Kids - this guy is not only an Uber Geek; not only THE premier physicist; not only super-cool when it comes to theories of Time and Space and the cosmos.... he's been on Star Trek: The Next Gen!

If dude there were to outfit his wheelchair with a sliding red eye-light, paint it black and call it KITT - It'd be like Knight Rider Steve Hawking. Frack. I'd pretty much switch teams and marry the guy.

Yes boys and girls - Scrubs fair little 'burb here is all a-buzz with the Einstein of our generation being right here to swap brain-spit with other smarty-pants at the local think-tank. It really is quite exciting.

On the other hand - crazy cat lady a few doors down continues to let her beasts run amok (oooooo - 'amok'... "Amok Time".... episode of Trek, the original series.... 2 Trek references in one posting!!!!! I'm gonna need a cold shower if this continues.)

It's not that I don't like cats.

I hate them.

Scrub's a dog guy.

Dog people generally dont groove with cat people.

Oh sure - cats are cute. When hollowed out and used as slippers.

Oh relax. Scrubs not one of those people that would do harm to the little beasts. I just don't like when crazy cat lady lets the wee buggers roam 24-7.

They leave little cat presents frackin' everywhere. Know what I mean? Blech.

Then there's the ever present sight of one of the critters strolling like it's queen of all things - with a bird in it's mouth. Argh.

And while on the topic of elevators - Scrub and the Wife are gonna be providing assistance and support to the Wife's mommy and daddy - Scrub's outlaws - as they prepare to relocate themselves from 10 stories up to only 3 stories up. Well - 3 stories up with a helluva nice view. Yep - the outlaws are moving. So - it's off to their place to pack up their knick knacks and move 'em down a few floors in their apartment building to a really nice spot with a nice nature view rather than the parking lot view. That's happening tomorrow.

Today - The Wife and her gal pal the Joodster are doin' their scrappy thing at a crop in a local burb.

Me - think Scurb's gonna fire up the grill and sear some meat. Scrub is always happy when searing meat.

Oh kids - Saturday is upon us! Now go - love your Saturday. That's what I'm gonna do.

Oh the Irony

Every now and then... somethin just comes back to bite ya in the ass.

Howdy boys & girls. Yer ol pal Uncle Scrub here. How u doin?

Dont ya hate when somethin so innocent... so innocuous.... so well intentioned.... comes back to haunt ya?

Check out this ad from 1999:

Yes kids. THIS makes me giggle.

Oh - before you send the hate mail... the whole oil thing doesn't make me giggle. The ad makes me giggle. We all good? Kewl.

So - what else we got goin on?

Well - for one thing - to Scrub's neighbours to the south in the good 'ol Red White and Blue - Happy Memorial Day.

Weird, eh? "Happy" Memorial Day. That's not right.

I hope ya'll have a good Memorial Day.

Nope - that's not quite right either, is it?

Perhaps... simply.... it's Memorial Day.

Here in the land of Red and White, eskimos and igloos, snow and pretty coloured money - we have something similar. It's not for a while yet though.

Here's what I got to say about it all:

Whether you agree with the fact that guys and gals who are neighbours, friends and family are off in some locale somewhere - beating heat, exhaustion and, more often than not, kids barely out of diapers playing with explosives instead of Tonka toys - whether you agree with it or not - days like today are not for complaining, protesting, demonstrating or generally bitching. Days like today are for honouring those who themselves have chosen to step up, step out and make what they believe is a difference for their loved ones and their country.

Everybody should go home at the end of the day. Ya know - you wake up. Shower. Go to work. Slug it out for a few hours. Then - go home. Grab a glass of water. Sit in the comfy chair. Complain about a customer or a co-worker. Eat some grub. Watch TV. Go to bed. Do it again the next day. The point is - you go home.

Days like today are for honouring those that didn't go home.

Days like today are to remind the families of those that didn't go home - that their loss wasn't for nothing.

Days like today are for hoping that one day in the future - we won't have days like today.

For now though - we do.

For now - we have people (more kids, really) - who have stepped up to make a difference.

Thank goodness they do because gawd knows - I wouldn't. Just don't have the balls. Know what I mean?

So - there it is.

Now - having taken a brief moment there - I shall now return to preparing myself for the coming thunder bumper storm and will now batten down the hatches.

Goodbye.

Trucker, Grumpy Ex-Fireman and B2B.

Weekends. Glorious. Simply glorious.

Howdy kids. Yer ol pal Scrubbie here. How are ya doin?

Weekends. Fantastic, eh? I know. Sometimes - it's all pleasure. Sometimes - it's a weekend of the "honey-do" list. Either one is ok with me. But - now brace yerselves... - this weekend was a bit of both for Scrub! It's like the best of both worlds.

On the workish front - Scrub took to doin' some arbour work. Ya know - trees and stuff. Out front of the Scrub Shack - we have this tree. Big fella. But, there's a few branches here and there that have simply given up the ghost. Dead. Bare. So - grabbed me one of them saw things on the end of a long pole and went to town.

Helluva slug that was - but I gotta admit - things are lookin real nice outside the shack right now.

Then, on the happy front - it was a weekend filled with seared meat on the grill, music, good times with the Wife and the Kid. Yep - nice all around.

Oh - and last night - The Wife and me cleared some space outside and had a couple of the neighbours over. Wellll - it was mostly a couple of the guys 'round the neighbourhood that stopped by. Bottles and glasses in hand. So - sat around till stupid hours of the night enjoyin cocktails and having a few giggles. Last night - we had Trucker over. Beside him was grumpy ex-fireman and to round out the batch was B2B. Huh? oh - ya... guess I should fill ya in.

So - as ya'll know - Scrub enjoys a full cast of characters, pals and whackjobs around him.

Trucker - one of the nicest guys you could ever meet. Yes - a trucker. Not one of them sleazy truckers. Blech. No - this guy - real nice.

Grumpy Ex-Fireman - name pretty much sums it up. Recently retired from puttin' out flames. Generally grumpy. But - he'd run a mile for ya at the drop of a dime.

B2B - likely needs the most explaining. See.... I could him him Geek. But, that name is already given to my ultra pal.... well.... my ultra pal Geek. I could call him uber-geek. That is pretty fitting. But, no. Uber-geek is called B2B. Here's why.

Nice guy. Like him. Alot. Works at RIM. Worked at RIM since RIM was a pipe dream. (Ya know RIM, right? The Blackberry place? Ya - that one.)

When B2B has a conversation with you - it's just like having a Blackberry conversation. Ya know when you're chattin' via Blackberry.... you type out a sentence or two. Then.... there.... is..... a.... pause.... while.... the.... other..... person..... types...... out..... a..... reply...... then...... sends...... it..... back. You get to then say your piece. Hit send. Then..... you....... have....... to....... pause...... again.

Well - talkin to B2B is just like that. He says something. Then there's a pause. You're never quite sure if he is done talking or not. So, you say something back. Then there's another pause while he puts together the next sentence.

It's like having a living Blackberry chat. Blackberry to Blackberry. Therefore - you got it.... B2B.

Anyway - there it is. A little playtime. A little workin' time. And, now... Sunday night.... sittin outside with the Wife. Hurricane is over. Had a little dinner. Relaxin' time.

Oh ya kids. This is it.

A Return to the Old Ways

ring. *ring. Bzzzzz-ding-ding-ding-bzzzzzz-screech......

Howdy boys & girls - tiz yer old pal Scrub here. How are ya?

The interweb - it's great. I get to peek around at all kindsa stuff. And, don't know 'bout you all - but 'round these parts - they interweb people recently introduced this whole cable thing. Makes all them web pages just pop up lightening quick. It's freakin' awesome!

The Wife and me - we do enjoy the TV. The Wife - totally down with the show LOST. Scrub - ahhhhh - honestly - drove me crazy. Sure, I watched. Mostly 'cause the Wife was watchin. And I do love hangin out with the Wife. So - I'd take in the weekly dose of insanity.

Here, up in the Great White (and pretty much the rest of the world, as far as I know) - that show... LOST... just finished it's 6-year run. Wrapped up. Finished. Ka-put. Done. Did ya see it? Oh sure - the deep and thoughtful sides of me and the Wife got it. Life. Death. The common, human experiences that transcend religion, sex, creed. Blah Blah Blah. But... seriously. Didn't ya'll just have to grab for the prozac and a rye and coke afterwards?

So - that was last week.

Then, yesterday...

24. Jack Bauer. CTU. Heard of it? Ya know - the show that kills off anyone that you just start to think is gonna make it? Ya. That one.

Well - our dear pal Hurricane (ya'll remember Hurricane, right? Named not because of the aggressive passing of wind but because of the path of destruction that follows her around? Ya. Her.) Anyway - our dear pal Hurricane, as ya'll might recall - frequented the Scrub Shack here on regular Monday nights to take in 47 minutes of Jack and the mayhem that went along with it. (Honestly - sure she likes the show 'cause she'd like to have a snog with Mr. Bauer - but, really, I think it's more 'cause it's nice to see someone's life only slightly more chaotic than her own.)

This activity - Hurricane comin' over... The Wife and me pretending we're not at home... Hurricane barging in anyway... this has been going on for some years now. Quite some years now.

Last night - 24 wrapped up. Done. Finito. That's it.

Sure - we're celebrating the off-chance that Hurricane won't come over anymore. But this also means that there ain't much point anymore to havin' cable.

Scrub can cancel cable. Woooo Hoooo!

No more bills from the rather grumpy postal employee.

No more phone calls from the evil empire trying to sell me more.

No more commercials touting the benefits of having a 'happy period'.

But - this also means, Scrub - in order to remain connected to the interweb thing - would have to go on dial up. Hmmmm.... That's ok. I kinda like that sound when you connect. Makes me feel like something is happening. It sounds all computery. I like it.

Hmmmmm..... wait. What about "V"? Oh - and then there's Big Brother. Glorious evidence that the human race truly are idiots. HOUSE. FOOD network. National Geographic specials that show us how bugs do the nasty. And, the ever present hope that KNIGHT RIDER would make a return. Hmmmmmmm. Perhaps losing cable might be a bit... ummm... premature.

Gee - Scrub was comin' on to say his goodbye's to ya'll since he was goin' to be dropping off the interweb (well, the high speed version anyway). But, perhaps..... unlike Jack - both Bauer from 24 and the Sheppard from LOST - this ain't the end.

If Saturday was a dinner - here is the recipe.

And so it begins.

Morning boys & girls - tiz yer ol pal Scrubbie here. How ya'll doin this A.M.??

It's another Saturday in the big city. WOOHOO! Scrub loves Saturdays. In fact, I'd have to say Saturday's are way up there in the list along with Sandwiches, Star Trek and Whiskey. A lot to live up to... I know.

So ya... Saturday in the big city. It's a full one today kids.

First - the Wife - buggerin' off for a day of Scrappin with the gal pals. Gotta load up the go-kart and drop her and her small warehouse of supplies off this morn. (Well... that's not really 'first'. The real 'first of the day' will be draggin' the Kid and his arse outa bed. A chore in itself.)

Then, the Kid has a meet N greet with his soccer pals this morn. The soccer season fires up next week with practice number 1. So, today, the little testosterones are all gettin' together to get their new shirts and shorts etc. Get a chance to meet each other. That sorta stuff.

Front yard -needin' a trim. That'll be on the agenda today.

Hittin' the local trading post to source out some local grub to cook up for the Kid and me.

The interior of the Scrub shack is needin' a little TLC. Gotta get 'round to that.

And, of course, while all that is happening - Scrub'll have the local police scanner tuned in and turned up to see what all the action is.

Yes, m'lovelies... Saturdays are a great thing.

Might even get a little digiscrappin' in today. Wanna see a pic of the neice?

It's A Wonderful Day in the Neighbourhood

... a wonderful day in the neighbourhood. Won't you be my... won't you be my.... neighbour.

Howdy boys & girls - tiz yer ol pal Scrub here. How are ya?

First - to our red white and blue neighbours to the south - the spelling of neighbours. I know. Different. But - hey - that's how we roll here in the Great White. We also spell the word colour... well... c.o.l.o.u.r. See... in the dead of winter - well, most of the time really... when we've got nothin' else to do - we just throw random letters into words for fun. Honestly - it's mostly to see who's not giddy on wobbly pops. If they catch the extra vowel - we know their stone sober and alright to take the dogs out for a run with the sled. Welcome to Canada, eh.

So kids - today is a great day! Why? Well, let me fill ya in.

See - over the past few weeks, the Wife and me and our deal pal Hurricane (you remember Hurricane, right? Bankrupts airlines. Tackles tricky and congested driving scenes by rolling down the window and yelling "MY TURN". Considers triple strength instant coffee a food group. Ya - her.) Anyway... me, the Wife and Hurricane usually sit ourselves down on a Monday night to catch all the action on a little program called 24. Jack Bauer. "Trust me". Body counts rising by the minute. The moment you get to know a character, they blow up. Ya - you got it.

But... the past few weeks... me, the Wife and Hurricane have not been able to sit down to enjoy our weekly run of Bauer and 24. Quite a few weeks, as a matter of fact. 6 weeks to be exact.

BUT!!!!!.... Fear not, my friends! Here, in the Great White, we have this technology that allows us to take programs on the moving picture machine and - brace yourselves - RECORD IT FOR FUTURE VIEWING!!!! Hallelujah!!!!! (C'mon... I'm a dude and have to have my toys, right?)

So - today is the day kids.

Went and fetched some meat from the local trading post. Will be firing up the 'ol fire pit. Hurricane is coming over. (reminds me... gotta pay insurance next week.) Got the good 'ol Crown Royal ready to pour. Yes, today is the day. It's a 24 marathon!

Gawddamm - life is grand.

Sharing Happiness ! !

Hey kids - it's yer old pal Scrub here. How are ya?

Alrighty - lets talk about Sharing Happiness, shall we? No, I'm not talking about wrapping big, brawny and fantastically ripped Scrubbie arms around you... no. no.

Nor am I suggesting that Scrub and the wife have hit the jackpot in the local Great White lottery and we're gonna start spreading the wealth like peanut butter on morning whole wheat toast. While delicious... this is not what I'm going at here.

No kids... in this case, Scrub is commenting on the fact that one of his groovy email addy's he uses for his noble volunteer work was grabbed by someone else and used to send out some stupid email with the subject "Sharing Happiness ! !" and gave Scrubs colleagues and network (that includes local police big shots, movers and shakers of some half million people and some of the fancy-schmancy government big shots that rule the roost 'round these parts) some bizarre song and dance about spreading the love and inheriting money and crap like that.

And - to top it all off... Scrub's gonna put on his Sunday best in a week to host and emcee the mega event of the year where all of these pillars of the community will be hob-knobbin' with each other.

Oh ya - I look like a friggin' ass right now. Frack.

The Wife

Howdy Kidlings - it's yer ol pal Scrubbie here. How are ya?

It's April 4th. Special day.

See, today is The Wife's Birthday!

It was !! years ago that The Wife came into this world. Scrub, for one, is glad is around. I'd have been talkin to myself these past 20 some years if she wasn't here.



Ain't she gorgeous?

So, here... on the interweb... I just wanna tell the world... how much I love this woman.

And, to wish her a very happy birthday.

I love ya darlin'.

And speakin' of Hurricane...

Speakin of Hurricane... here's an update: After grounding and bankrupting an entire airline just by booking a seat and travellin' to some sun-shiney island somewheres last week, our dear pal Hurricane has managed to fanagle herself and her two offspring a ride home. US Airways. Yes - if you have a ticket, you might wanna check your cancellation insurance. Anyways... the ol gal is jettin' home tomorrow.

But... on that note of our deal pal Hurricane and her bein' the "eye of the storm" and all....

ya'll might recall an entry some time back called Vroom-Vroom. Go ahead - take a peek if ya like. This interweb thingy is really the bees knees, aint it?

Ok, back? Kewl. Anyway - in that entry, ya'll read about good 'ol Hurricane securing herself a new set'a wheels for toddlin' around town with.

Just realized....

The new set'a wheels.....

A horseless buggy made by Saturn.

Saturn.

And....

Yes.....

Work with me here kids....

They aint in business no more.

Are ya seein' the pattern?

Thought I was exaggerating. Didn't ya?

WARNING! WARNING!

Howdy kids! It's yer old pal Scrubbie here! How the frack are ya?

I know, eh.... like... seriously. I haven't had nuthin' to say.

Today.... I do.

Alrighty - got yer coffee in hand? Right then. Here we go.

So - ya'll recall the wife and me have a dear friend named Hurricane, right? Remember her? Dynamite under the driveway. Unknowingly gives theives who just cleared out a neighbours house clear directions back to the highway. Walks into someone's house thinking it was her pals... announces she's gotta pee.... only to find out all the people in the house are actually there for a wake for their dear pappy who just passed from this earth. Yep - her.

So - our dear pal Hurricane is a tireless worker. She slugs it out pretty hard every day. Trading skins and furs to keep herself in cookies and bling. But, in a moment of weakness, decided she needed a vacation. Take a little trip to where there ain't snow fer a change. And, takes her offspring with her too. Scrub - I takes them to the local airplane take-off facility and see them off.

Scrub gets back home to the igloo and with every conversation he has with pals - they all say "what's that? Hurricane? On a plane? On vacation? Geez - wonder what disaster's gonna happen now?!" Then - we all giggle.

C'mon - what are the chances, eh?

THIS IS HURRICANE! THIS IS HURRICANE, PEOPLE! The chances are 100%

While our dear pal Hurricane is basking in the sunshine in warmer locales with her two brats.... Scrub hears on the portable audio box that "Skyservice today has announced it has ceased operations and is now in receivership."

Yep - Skyservice. That's Hurricane's airline. Well - let me qualify that.... it WAS Hurricane's airline.

In one fleeting moment in time, in this... the year of our Lord, two-thousand ten... our dear pal Hurricane has managed to bankrupt and ground an entire airline.

So - on behalf of our dear pal Hurricane - I'd like to apologize to the 800+ employees of Skyservice Airlines as well as to the thousands of passengers who were either scheduled to fly to vacation destinations around the world or who are there already and are now swapping seashells and sand sculptures for space in the cargo compartments of flights to get back home.

I must point out - just as with the dynamite under the driveway... just as with the house being struck by lightening (twice)... just as with the plane that crash landed in the front yard of her igloo... somehow... SOMEHOW... "it's not 'my' fault".

No, No Hurricane. It's not your fault. But, somehow... SOMEHOW... you are the eye of the storm.

As a public service, I shall, from this day forth, post Hurricanes travel plans, whereabouts and schedules right here on this blog.

Don't say I didn't warn ya kids.

I will stop writing now and continue my last few days of guaranteed peace and serenity whilst Hurricane is outa the country. I suggest all those of you north of the border... do the same.

Regrets

Huh? 2010? Whaaaaat?!?!?!

Howdy kids - tiz your old pal Scrubbie here. Happy New Year.

Havent blogged in a while. I know. I really havent had much to say. Oh sure - I could spin a yarn about the nasty dogsled accident that left me in a coma. And how through it all, I could hear the Wife talkin to me while I lay in sterile hospital room - sayin things like "where the hell did you put the scissors?" Then, just a few days ago - popped my eyes open thinking it had only been a couple of hours while to my shock and horror - finding out the year had turned, the kid got married, the lunatic dog had pups (even though she had her u-hoo taped shut) and I had grown a third eye.

Sure - that'd be fun. Interesting, even. Funny, in a dark and tragic sorta way.

But it aint true. And ya'll already know that if it goes up on the blog - there's gotta be truth to it.

No... Scrub just hasn't had much to say.

Today, however... I do.

Ahem.... (clearing throat)

Trek.

Star Trek.

Love Trek.

All kindsa Trek. New and Old.

Know lots about it.

Lots.

But....

This, my friends, is simply wrong.

I don't know who these people are.

Don't really need to.

All I know is... they need help.

And, one day, they'll regret this photo.

And that boys and girls - is all I gotta say.

It Ends Up Balanced

Give a little. Take a little. Win some. Lose some. Sometimes you get it. Sometimes it gets you.

Howdy boys & girls. Yer ol pal Scrubbie here on a wintery, snowy and really frackin' cold afternoon. How are ya?

Balance. Everything seems to end up balanced.

Here - take this for example:

Scrub was giddy. Scrub was jumpin' with excitement. Scrub's tastebuds were tickled pink. Let me explain.

Just t'other day, Scrub dragged out the flour and sugar, eggs and vanilla and a bowl or two. A measure of this. A dash of that. Scrub stoked up the fire and before ya knew it... there, in front of me - biscotti. Ya know - those crunchy, delish cookie thingies that just are swell with a cuppa coffee. Timmies coffee. (whoops - there's that Timmies reference again. HI Kristine!)

Anyway - biscotti. Glorious to behold. Even more-so to taste. Cranberry Pistachio biscotti to be exact. Flavoured with vanilla and almond extract. With just a hint of the olive oil used in the preparation. Oh kids... magnificent!

Then, Scrub went ahead with a second batch. Just cause I had more dried cranberries and nuts left over. This time however - DRIZZLED IN WHITE CHOCOLATE they were! The ONLY thing better than this culinary treat is cuddles with the wife or dreams involving pudding.

Heaven. Simply heaven.

So - inspired, Scrub, last night, drugged out more flour and sugar and other baking goodies. The igloo was positively filled with the smells of Christmas! Chocolate-Orange Biscotti! Banana-Walnut mini loaves! Coconut Macaroons! Lord... Take me now! My mouth was positively dripping with anticipation!

The Biscotti - dutch cocoa and the zest of the quintessential Christmas treat 'round here... Clementines. Oh... they were all chocolately-dark with that signature crackly crust on the top of the cookies!

The smell of the banana loaves were enough to attract the attention of the Kid's punk pals from miles around. They all came wanderin' over through the cold night air just to have a sniff and ask "Scrubbie - what is that wonderful smell?"

And the macaroons. Let me ask you - is there anything more perfect... is there anything that speaks to the soul more than little golden mounds of sugary goodness that just nukes your tastebuds with the taste of coconut than a macaroon? 48 of the little buggers came outa the hot box last night!

Now - here is where the whole Yin-Yang of it all comes in.

The Cranberry-Nut Biscotti - a gift from the gods. The chocolate-orange Biscotti - bitter horrid little shards that could be perfectly good tent-peg substitutes. My delectable banana-walnut mini loaves - gawddamnd bricks. And the macaroons - i don't even know how to describe the disaster.

So, you see... over the course of 24 hours, Scrubbie went from bein' all high and mighty over his screamin' success in the kitchen of the igloo, to being completely and utterly put back in my place by it.

Ah well.

It's off to the trading post where I'll simply swap a few skins and furs for a collection of sweeties that I will simply pass off as my own. Huh? Oh, ya, right... like you've never done that before.

A Rare Moment of Niceness.

Howdy kids. Yer ol pal Scrubbie here.

I'm stuffed. Full. Well sated.

Tonight, the Wife and me went for dinner. Out for dinner. At a restaurant! Seriously.

Went to this place called Oliver and Bonacelli. It was dee-lightful! Dee Lish! Nice staff. Great service. All around - it was a grand occasion.

So many times, at restaurants, food tends to be all bland and nasty. Ya know - gotta appeal to the masses. So, flavours are just not there that POP and shout.

But, not at this place.

Again, I say, it was delicious.

BUT....

Tonight wasn't about the food.

Tonight wasn't about the exceptionally kewl decor.

Tonight wasn't about the Aussie accented waiter.

Nope.

We could'a been eatin' cat food outa tin cans in the back of an alley in the winter cold and it would have been just as fantastic.

It's the company we had.

See - tonight, me and the Wife went out to celebrate, for just a moment, with our good pals - the Joodster and her ear suckling hubby.

Now, I'm not one to go blathering on - gettin' all gushy 'round the gills. Well, not often anyway. But, I don't mind tellin' ya - the Joodster and her ear suckling hubby - there just damnd decent people. Both have hearts the size of a house. Both have love in their voices. And, the Wife and me - are, frankly, privileged to have them in our lives.

Everyone should have folks like them around.

Enough said.

Run baby, Run!

Whallop!

Morning boys & girls. Yer ol pal Scrub here. How are ya?

Lord love a duck - we got snow. Yep - the fluffy white came down last night and this morning, it really is beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

Now... all you visiting from afar - I know you're out there... Scrub's gotta remind you of something. That is... that we Canucks talk about only a few things. Tim Hortons coffee. Hockey. And, the weather. Dull? No, No. Not really. Think about it more as an opportunity to visit us here in the Great White without the worry about n

ot fitting in. Just come on by. Throw a smile on your face and talk about coffee. You'll find nothin' but Canuck pals if you do.

In fact, here's a little public service for ya'll. How to say coffee in many languages:

Arabic Countries- Qahwa / Kahwa

Armenian- Sourj

China- (Mandarin)- Kafei

Czechlovakia- Kava

Denmark -Kaffe

Egypt- Masbout

Ethopia...(where it may have started) -Buna

Finland- Kahvi

France -Cafe

Germany -Kaffee

Greek- Kafes

Hawaii-Kope

Holland- Koffie

Hungary- Kave

Indonesia/Malaysia -Kopi

Iran- Gehve

Iraq- Qahwa

Israel- Kave

Italy -Coffea

Japan-Koohii

Kenya -Kalawa

Laos- Kafe

Lebanon- Qahwa

Norway- Kaffee

Philippines -Kape

Poland- Kawa

Spain- Kafe

Thailand -Gafae

Back to the Weather. Yes - it's one of our topics. As Scrubbie strolls through the village or visits the local trading post... I often hear people complaining about the weather. Too hot. Too cold. Too much. Not enough. Whatever.

But - there is one little fart here at the igloo that is quite ok with it all.

An award? Me?

You like me! You really like me!

Hey kidlings - it's yer ol pal Scrub here. How are ya?

Okay - so it's happened before, but I kinda ignored it before. The truth is I just didn't really know what the hell to do with it.

It's this whole blog award thingy.

See, it's not that I was ungrateful or nothin. No, not at all. It's just that it confuses me. Remember - Scrubbie ain't all that bright. Few sticks short of a branch or whatever that saying is.

Accept the award, post it, nominate other blogs - it's all too much for me. The stress of even getting the letter "A" posted on my own blog - enough to drive a fella to drink.

But - this time... a little different.

One of them thar people that visit now and then is my good pal Kristine. She's a Canuck as well. If ever there is a reference to a Timmies coffee here on my blog - good 'ol Kristine is right there. Typical for a Canuck though - if there is a Timmies coffee anywhere - we'll find it.

Then there's that sense of humour of my good pal Kristine - there are times when I'm readin' over her blog or comments from her on my blog that make me dribble in my drawers just a little bit.

Wanna visit? Just click here to be taken away to a magical land.

So, when my good pal Kristine told me about this little award thingy - I just couldn't resist. Thanks darlin'!

Ok, Ok... so here's the deal. I get to post this freaky lookin' lady in an apron on my blog (who looks like that? C'mon!) and I am to answer a few questions (very personal questions, I might add) and then I have to tell ya'll about another blog or two that I think are pretty darn'd kewl.

So - the questions are below. You'll get there eventually. Just keep readin' here.

Alrighty - one blog that is awful fun to peruse is by Kristi. Why? Well - it's family life and if there is one thing that always elicits a grin from this ol boy - it's tales of family life. Plain, simple, uncensored.

Another blog that I particularly enjoy is the Wife's gal-pal, the Joodster. While most of ya don't know the Joodster, her ear-suckling hubby and her two punks personally, the Jood's blog perfectly gives a peek into who this ultimate home-nester is.

So - there ya go kids. Places to visit. Things to read. What more do ya want? Blood?

On to the questions. Have a nice day.

Your cell phone? No - they don't let us have phones in our cells. But, there's a payphone just down the hall. A rather large and burley fella who likes to be called Angela guards it.
Your hair? receding like the snows of mt. Kilimanjaro
Your mother? Once scored higher than the Wife playing one of those "how naughty are you" at one of them lingerie hen-parties. That incident cost me close to 20,000 dollars in psych appointments.
Your father? Obviously pleased about Scrubbie Mamma's "how naughty are you" test results
Favorite food? Oh Gosh - the list, m'darlin's..., is sooooo long. There is just no way to narrow this one down. Lets go with.. Gummi Bears.
Your dream last night? involved pudding.
Your favorite drink? no hesitation here - nectar of the gods, sweet honey of life, golden delishishnuss - it's rye. Wonderful, thank the Lord above, make Scrubbie happy, Rye.
Your dream/goal? My dream goal? All the Bud Light girls winning a shootout against the Ottawa Senators. Hmmm? Whaddya mean "dream goal" then?
What room are you in? In the Kitchen. With a knife. Call me Professor Plum.
Your hobby? Finding new and fun ways to keep those nostril hairs at bay. Blech.
Your fear? Those nostril hairs getting out of control - growing wildly and culminating in taking on a life of their own, wrapping themselves around my head and neck - slowly choking the very breath of life out of me while I sleep. *shudder
Where do you want to be in 6 years? I dunno. Honestly - i'm pretty content being an average schmuck in the Great White North here. But, if you really push me for an answer, I'd have to say in 6 years I'd like to be a neurosurgeon practicing my craft on a tropical island with lots of those naked-booby people roaming around. You asked.
Where were you last night? Right here. With the Wife. And the Kid. And the lunatic dog. Watching Christmas movies on the tube. With popcorn. And tea. It was perfection.
Something you aren’t? A fisherman. Haven't we established that clearly by now?
Muffins? We're talking about baked goods, right?? There's a whole list of naughty euphemisms for muffins which I assume is not the intention of the question. Well - in either case.... Yes please.
Wish list item? Muffins
Where did you grow up? Pretty much everywhere. Arms, legs, torso, wibbly-wobblies - all pretty much proportioned. Geez - that's a weird question.
Last thing you did? Thought about what the last thing I did was. This is a loaded question and can never be answered. See, if I say the last thing I did was type the letter R, whoops - see - the last thing I did there was type a comma. Now a period! It just never ends!
What are you wearing? The official uniform of all residents in the Great White. Jeans and a really big sweatshirt to make sure I keep warm.
Your TV? Thankfully, not an issue. I have been vaccinated. Oh - Tee Vee - not TB.
Your pets? wildly odd.
Friends? I don't really have any. I am generally not well liked. And, frankly, I generally don't like people. I like things simple.
Your mood? Frantic. Yes - even medicated... still frantic.
Missing someone? Yes. But, hopefully now that I have a new laser-sight... I'll finally get the little bastard.
Vehicle? Dog Sled.
Something you’re not wearing? A wig.
Your favorite store? A. I'm a guy. B. I'm Canadian. The answer, my friends, is blowing in the wind and should be painfully obvious. CANADIAN TIRE. WooooooHooooooo!
Your favorite color? Beige. lovely, neutral, clean - beige.
When was the last time you laughed? I never laugh. Unless the dog farts. That is pretty darn'd funny.
Last time you cried? Tears of joy when Star Trek came out on DVD.
Your best friend? The Wife. She da bomb.
One place that you go to over and over? Canadian Tire. Duh.
Facebook? Ya. What about it? Oh - I invited every person on facebook that has the same name as me to be my friend. They're all accepting those friend requests. It's hysterical. It's also confusing 'cause I keep seeing that I am doing all these weird things in status updates. Then, I have to pause and think - "No, wait... it's not ME that is climbing mount everest tomorrow. It must the the other guy."
Favorite Place to Eat? It's a toss up between right here at the igloo, surrounded by the Wife, the Kid and family and friends - who are all enjoying a full out meal that I have envisioned and created. We dine via candlelight (especially when the electric goes out), imbibe with regional wine, have a few laughs and drink in the friendship and love that fills the room. It's that or ...an Oktoberfest sausage on a bun with sauerkraut and mustard from the street-meat vendor outside Canadian Tire. I can't decide which.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

'Ello m'darlin's - it's yer old pal Scrub here. How are ya'll doin'?

Oh - it's been a nut-house around the igloo these days. The kid - sick as a dog - hacking up a lung. The Wife - frantic with her higher learnin' stuff. Lunatic dog - well - c'mon... it's the lunatic dog. How hard can it be?

So - yes, the igloo is bein' all tarted up to celebrate Christmas. We do that here. The bedlam shall begin soon. Scrub's fam. The Wife's fam. Hurricane and her punks. Yes - it's all comin'. Oh sure - I love it. We all do. Not complainin'. But, ya know how it is... crazy days.

Next year, we're changing things up a bit 'round here though. Next year and every year thereafter... Scrub and the fam are hangin out here at the igloo on Christmas day. Front door is gonna get unlocked at 2pm and anyone and everyone is welcome to stop in, drop by, hang out and visit for as long or as short as they like. No formal dinners. Nothin' crazy. Just casual, good times. The formal stuff - all gonna happen the day before and the day after.

But, back to this year.

Now... ya'll might recall a post or two ago, Scrub was mentioning about headin' out to the local trading post to swap skins and furs for some twinkle lights to adorn the abode.

And, ya'll might recall in that post, Scrub mentioned that unless somethin was on sale - ya know... a bargain... that Scrub was gonna - ummm - kinda - ummm - NOT buy stuff this year.

Wellllll - there wasn't anything on sale. No bargains to be found.

Nope - not nothin'.

However - Ladies and Gents - lemme introduce you to The Wife.

This darlin' - apart from being simply smokin' hot and just the kewlest chick on the face of the earth... is also the Grand Mamma of artsy-fartsy creative!

So - this past weekend, the Wife and me went a strollin' outside the comfie-coziness of our domicile to the wooded tundra and did a little foraging.

Came back. Put on a pot of hot coffee. And the 'lil darlin' went to work. Snip snip. Cut cut. Arrange arrange. And... Voila!

I mean... LOOK AT THAT!

Ain't that purty!

Here's the second one.

All stuff found right in our yard!

Lord lov'er - aint she great?

So - there ya go kids.

Even faced with the cheapness that is Scrubbie - the Wife still manages to pull a rabbit outa the hat and before you know it - whoosh, bang....

Regional Decorating.

I love my wife.

Click here please.

A video game survey? Huh?

Evening boys & girls - tiz I - yer old pal Scrub here! Howdy!

OK - so Scrub's way overdue to post. I know. I will.

But, first - here's the scoop. The Kid... he's doing this project, see. For his learnin' institution. A Science Fair project. Nope - it's not a volcano. Not my kid. He's all techno-junkie.

The Kid is doin this project about male vs female. Oh. Ummmm.... wonder where he gets these ideas from?

And, his project is about a topic near and dear to his widdle heart. Video Games.

So - part of his project is some research. And, bein' all techno-junkie and all, he's doing his research in the form of an online poll. Seriously.

Here's the deal... anyone can do this survey. BUT - if you got Scrublings kickin' around your place - have them do the survey. Ideally, the Kid is targeting ages 10-30ish. And, for heaven's sake - pass out these links to absolutely everyone you know. He's gonna run for 2 weeks collecting results, then he's gonna graph himself to death. I'll keep ya posted.

Alrighty - if you are a SCRUB - go to: http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/PMP8KD8

If you are a SCRUBETTE - go to: http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/PXQHGBZ

Got it? Scrub. Scrubette. Different links. Got it? Kewl.

Ok kids - go git 'em.

Kid needs a good mark. He's gotta get into higher learnin'. Get good grades. Get a good job. Make lotsa money. Take care of his old man.

Ya - it's all about retirement planning on this end.

Quchjaj qoSlIj!

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Scrubs & Scrubettes, it's my buddy, The Geek's birthday today!

Hey kids - yer ol pal Scrubbie here. How are ya'll doin?

See him? There he is. My buddy - Geek.

So - here's what we're gonna do. Scrub's gonna list a few items here. The list - well, it's a list that will do two things.

First - the list is going to give you all, m'darlin Scrublings, a bit of insight into why Scrub calls him The Geek.

Second, and here's the fun part of us, every time you see one of the items on the list, you will know that Geek is squealing like a little girl on Christmas morning - giggling with delight. Ready?

1. Quchjaj qoSllj! (Happy Birthday, in Klingon)

2. Star Trek - take your pick

3. BattleStar Galactica

4. 10001 001010 (Happy Birthday, in Binary Code)

5. V - the series

6. "Chevron 1 - locked."

7. Linux

8. 20 Million Candle Power flashlight fights in the fog

9. GPS Trackers on Geek's and Scrubbie's phones - we know where each other is at all times. *Squeal!

10. Floorplans done up before furniture gets moved

11. The Q Continuum

12. Beta verison

13. Finding a website IP address without Web/Command prompt access = Score!

14. 967-1111

15. Big Bang Theory

Lets all just pause for a moment so Geek can collect his thoughts - have a cold shower - calm down.

Alrighty.

So, yes kids - it's Geek's birthday today. I, for one, am happy to call him a pal.