An award? Me?

You like me! You really like me!

Hey kidlings - it's yer ol pal Scrub here. How are ya?

Okay - so it's happened before, but I kinda ignored it before. The truth is I just didn't really know what the hell to do with it.

It's this whole blog award thingy.

See, it's not that I was ungrateful or nothin. No, not at all. It's just that it confuses me. Remember - Scrubbie ain't all that bright. Few sticks short of a branch or whatever that saying is.

Accept the award, post it, nominate other blogs - it's all too much for me. The stress of even getting the letter "A" posted on my own blog - enough to drive a fella to drink.

But - this time... a little different.

One of them thar people that visit now and then is my good pal Kristine. She's a Canuck as well. If ever there is a reference to a Timmies coffee here on my blog - good 'ol Kristine is right there. Typical for a Canuck though - if there is a Timmies coffee anywhere - we'll find it.

Then there's that sense of humour of my good pal Kristine - there are times when I'm readin' over her blog or comments from her on my blog that make me dribble in my drawers just a little bit.

Wanna visit? Just click here to be taken away to a magical land.

So, when my good pal Kristine told me about this little award thingy - I just couldn't resist. Thanks darlin'!

Ok, Ok... so here's the deal. I get to post this freaky lookin' lady in an apron on my blog (who looks like that? C'mon!) and I am to answer a few questions (very personal questions, I might add) and then I have to tell ya'll about another blog or two that I think are pretty darn'd kewl.

So - the questions are below. You'll get there eventually. Just keep readin' here.

Alrighty - one blog that is awful fun to peruse is by Kristi. Why? Well - it's family life and if there is one thing that always elicits a grin from this ol boy - it's tales of family life. Plain, simple, uncensored.

Another blog that I particularly enjoy is the Wife's gal-pal, the Joodster. While most of ya don't know the Joodster, her ear-suckling hubby and her two punks personally, the Jood's blog perfectly gives a peek into who this ultimate home-nester is.

So - there ya go kids. Places to visit. Things to read. What more do ya want? Blood?

On to the questions. Have a nice day.

Your cell phone? No - they don't let us have phones in our cells. But, there's a payphone just down the hall. A rather large and burley fella who likes to be called Angela guards it.
Your hair? receding like the snows of mt. Kilimanjaro
Your mother? Once scored higher than the Wife playing one of those "how naughty are you" at one of them lingerie hen-parties. That incident cost me close to 20,000 dollars in psych appointments.
Your father? Obviously pleased about Scrubbie Mamma's "how naughty are you" test results
Favorite food? Oh Gosh - the list, m'darlin's..., is sooooo long. There is just no way to narrow this one down. Lets go with.. Gummi Bears.
Your dream last night? involved pudding.
Your favorite drink? no hesitation here - nectar of the gods, sweet honey of life, golden delishishnuss - it's rye. Wonderful, thank the Lord above, make Scrubbie happy, Rye.
Your dream/goal? My dream goal? All the Bud Light girls winning a shootout against the Ottawa Senators. Hmmm? Whaddya mean "dream goal" then?
What room are you in? In the Kitchen. With a knife. Call me Professor Plum.
Your hobby? Finding new and fun ways to keep those nostril hairs at bay. Blech.
Your fear? Those nostril hairs getting out of control - growing wildly and culminating in taking on a life of their own, wrapping themselves around my head and neck - slowly choking the very breath of life out of me while I sleep. *shudder
Where do you want to be in 6 years? I dunno. Honestly - i'm pretty content being an average schmuck in the Great White North here. But, if you really push me for an answer, I'd have to say in 6 years I'd like to be a neurosurgeon practicing my craft on a tropical island with lots of those naked-booby people roaming around. You asked.
Where were you last night? Right here. With the Wife. And the Kid. And the lunatic dog. Watching Christmas movies on the tube. With popcorn. And tea. It was perfection.
Something you aren’t? A fisherman. Haven't we established that clearly by now?
Muffins? We're talking about baked goods, right?? There's a whole list of naughty euphemisms for muffins which I assume is not the intention of the question. Well - in either case.... Yes please.
Wish list item? Muffins
Where did you grow up? Pretty much everywhere. Arms, legs, torso, wibbly-wobblies - all pretty much proportioned. Geez - that's a weird question.
Last thing you did? Thought about what the last thing I did was. This is a loaded question and can never be answered. See, if I say the last thing I did was type the letter R, whoops - see - the last thing I did there was type a comma. Now a period! It just never ends!
What are you wearing? The official uniform of all residents in the Great White. Jeans and a really big sweatshirt to make sure I keep warm.
Your TV? Thankfully, not an issue. I have been vaccinated. Oh - Tee Vee - not TB.
Your pets? wildly odd.
Friends? I don't really have any. I am generally not well liked. And, frankly, I generally don't like people. I like things simple.
Your mood? Frantic. Yes - even medicated... still frantic.
Missing someone? Yes. But, hopefully now that I have a new laser-sight... I'll finally get the little bastard.
Vehicle? Dog Sled.
Something you’re not wearing? A wig.
Your favorite store? A. I'm a guy. B. I'm Canadian. The answer, my friends, is blowing in the wind and should be painfully obvious. CANADIAN TIRE. WooooooHooooooo!
Your favorite color? Beige. lovely, neutral, clean - beige.
When was the last time you laughed? I never laugh. Unless the dog farts. That is pretty darn'd funny.
Last time you cried? Tears of joy when Star Trek came out on DVD.
Your best friend? The Wife. She da bomb.
One place that you go to over and over? Canadian Tire. Duh.
Facebook? Ya. What about it? Oh - I invited every person on facebook that has the same name as me to be my friend. They're all accepting those friend requests. It's hysterical. It's also confusing 'cause I keep seeing that I am doing all these weird things in status updates. Then, I have to pause and think - "No, wait... it's not ME that is climbing mount everest tomorrow. It must the the other guy."
Favorite Place to Eat? It's a toss up between right here at the igloo, surrounded by the Wife, the Kid and family and friends - who are all enjoying a full out meal that I have envisioned and created. We dine via candlelight (especially when the electric goes out), imbibe with regional wine, have a few laughs and drink in the friendship and love that fills the room. It's that or ...an Oktoberfest sausage on a bun with sauerkraut and mustard from the street-meat vendor outside Canadian Tire. I can't decide which.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

'Ello m'darlin's - it's yer old pal Scrub here. How are ya'll doin'?

Oh - it's been a nut-house around the igloo these days. The kid - sick as a dog - hacking up a lung. The Wife - frantic with her higher learnin' stuff. Lunatic dog - well - c'mon... it's the lunatic dog. How hard can it be?

So - yes, the igloo is bein' all tarted up to celebrate Christmas. We do that here. The bedlam shall begin soon. Scrub's fam. The Wife's fam. Hurricane and her punks. Yes - it's all comin'. Oh sure - I love it. We all do. Not complainin'. But, ya know how it is... crazy days.

Next year, we're changing things up a bit 'round here though. Next year and every year thereafter... Scrub and the fam are hangin out here at the igloo on Christmas day. Front door is gonna get unlocked at 2pm and anyone and everyone is welcome to stop in, drop by, hang out and visit for as long or as short as they like. No formal dinners. Nothin' crazy. Just casual, good times. The formal stuff - all gonna happen the day before and the day after.

But, back to this year.

Now... ya'll might recall a post or two ago, Scrub was mentioning about headin' out to the local trading post to swap skins and furs for some twinkle lights to adorn the abode.

And, ya'll might recall in that post, Scrub mentioned that unless somethin was on sale - ya know... a bargain... that Scrub was gonna - ummm - kinda - ummm - NOT buy stuff this year.

Wellllll - there wasn't anything on sale. No bargains to be found.

Nope - not nothin'.

However - Ladies and Gents - lemme introduce you to The Wife.

This darlin' - apart from being simply smokin' hot and just the kewlest chick on the face of the earth... is also the Grand Mamma of artsy-fartsy creative!

So - this past weekend, the Wife and me went a strollin' outside the comfie-coziness of our domicile to the wooded tundra and did a little foraging.

Came back. Put on a pot of hot coffee. And the 'lil darlin' went to work. Snip snip. Cut cut. Arrange arrange. And... Voila!

I mean... LOOK AT THAT!

Ain't that purty!

Here's the second one.

All stuff found right in our yard!

Lord lov'er - aint she great?

So - there ya go kids.

Even faced with the cheapness that is Scrubbie - the Wife still manages to pull a rabbit outa the hat and before you know it - whoosh, bang....

Regional Decorating.

I love my wife.

Click here please.

A video game survey? Huh?

Evening boys & girls - tiz I - yer old pal Scrub here! Howdy!

OK - so Scrub's way overdue to post. I know. I will.

But, first - here's the scoop. The Kid... he's doing this project, see. For his learnin' institution. A Science Fair project. Nope - it's not a volcano. Not my kid. He's all techno-junkie.

The Kid is doin this project about male vs female. Oh. Ummmm.... wonder where he gets these ideas from?

And, his project is about a topic near and dear to his widdle heart. Video Games.

So - part of his project is some research. And, bein' all techno-junkie and all, he's doing his research in the form of an online poll. Seriously.

Here's the deal... anyone can do this survey. BUT - if you got Scrublings kickin' around your place - have them do the survey. Ideally, the Kid is targeting ages 10-30ish. And, for heaven's sake - pass out these links to absolutely everyone you know. He's gonna run for 2 weeks collecting results, then he's gonna graph himself to death. I'll keep ya posted.

Alrighty - if you are a SCRUB - go to: http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/PMP8KD8

If you are a SCRUBETTE - go to: http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/PXQHGBZ

Got it? Scrub. Scrubette. Different links. Got it? Kewl.

Ok kids - go git 'em.

Kid needs a good mark. He's gotta get into higher learnin'. Get good grades. Get a good job. Make lotsa money. Take care of his old man.

Ya - it's all about retirement planning on this end.

Quchjaj qoSlIj!

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Scrubs & Scrubettes, it's my buddy, The Geek's birthday today!

Hey kids - yer ol pal Scrubbie here. How are ya'll doin?

See him? There he is. My buddy - Geek.

So - here's what we're gonna do. Scrub's gonna list a few items here. The list - well, it's a list that will do two things.

First - the list is going to give you all, m'darlin Scrublings, a bit of insight into why Scrub calls him The Geek.

Second, and here's the fun part of us, every time you see one of the items on the list, you will know that Geek is squealing like a little girl on Christmas morning - giggling with delight. Ready?

1. Quchjaj qoSllj! (Happy Birthday, in Klingon)

2. Star Trek - take your pick

3. BattleStar Galactica

4. 10001 001010 (Happy Birthday, in Binary Code)

5. V - the series

6. "Chevron 1 - locked."

7. Linux

8. 20 Million Candle Power flashlight fights in the fog

9. GPS Trackers on Geek's and Scrubbie's phones - we know where each other is at all times. *Squeal!

10. Floorplans done up before furniture gets moved

11. The Q Continuum

12. Beta verison

13. Finding a website IP address without Web/Command prompt access = Score!

14. 967-1111

15. Big Bang Theory

Lets all just pause for a moment so Geek can collect his thoughts - have a cold shower - calm down.

Alrighty.

So, yes kids - it's Geek's birthday today. I, for one, am happy to call him a pal.

Prepare yourself - Some scenes may not be suitable for younger children.

Dearest Readers,

There are many things in this world that, frankly, are simply wrong.

Yes kids, Scrubbie here at the dinglee-doo this evening.

First, however - no lights purchased today.

Went to the trading post. Alone, I might add. But, it was a zoo. It was a nightmarish, busy as heck, the world-is-coming-to-an-end-tomorrow-so-I-better-buy-the-stuff-today zoo. Oh - nothin that was a smokin' hot bargain either. So, empty handed I returned to the igloo.

Unless somethin changes, it'll be candles this year.

So - things that are wrong.

1. Wars that are fueled by simple disagreements that could be solved by easy compromise or human understanding. Scrub's not one of them smartie-pants that has all the answers. Nope. I'm sure the river runs deeper that what I think. But, seriously - one side wears blue and the other side wants to wear blue too. So they think the solution is strapping bombs to people's bodies and sending them to community gathering spots. Or, they outfit 12 year olds with automatic weapons and tell 'em to go git 'em. It's wrong. Sorry if you're one of them that wants to wear blue, or think that someone else's property line goes through your yard, or that your God is better than the next guy's God. But, seriously - there has to be a better way. What works for Scrubbie is me and the next guy sittin' down over a beer and havin' a chat. It works. Honestly.

2. Parents and Children. This is a rather broad umbrella when it comes to being "wrong". Parents that are abusive to children. Adult children who are abusive to their aging parents. Issues of neglect. Parents who are too selfish to put their children ahead of themselves. Heck - any situation where an adult is taking advantage of a child or vice versa. It's all wrong.

3. Fish

4. Those that don't like Star Trek - incredibly wrong.

5. But, the ultimate in wrong... the pinnacle of wrong... the absolutely, definitively, and most utterly of wrong... I shudder at the very sight of it; cringe when I click the mouse to see it; cry at the thought of it... is...

I mean... seriously!?!

Shhhhh. Please read quietly.

Afternoon kids - tiz I - yer ol pal Scrub.

Yes, it's a Sunday afternoon here in the Great White.

Today, my friends, Scrub must forage. No, not for moose and other varmints for eatin'. No. Foraging today is all about them little lights that Scrub has to put up next week to adorn the igloo for the Christmas holiday season.

Sadly - the last set of lights the ol boy had have died. It was a slow, painful, dim death - but there ya have it. Gone.

So - it's off to the local trading post to see what kinda deals Scrub can score.

And, as ya'll know, Scrub don't much like payin full price for things. It's gotta be on sale and it's gotta be a deal. If it ain't - then Scrub don't buy. Simple as that.

This, of course, has the Wife slightly alarmed. The Wife knows that what will come home could be potentially anything - depending on what's on sale and what is a deal.

She wants to come with me.

That is dangerous. See... Scrub's a pushover when it comes to his darlin' lovie-boo. If she pours on the eyes and uses that voice of hers in just the right way... Scrub can be convinced to buy damn'd near anything. It's not that I dont want her to come. Heavens no. It's just that when Scrub's alone - it's much easier to scope out the good sales. Shop comparatively. Make sound deal-gettin' decisions. Ya know?

There is, of course, a solution to this dilemma. This dilemma of sharing in the joy of selecting pretty twinkly lights that are one of the hallmarks of the Christmas season for us here at the Scrub Shack. The dilemma marrying our desire to have these pretty things shining their happy goodness on glistening new fallen snow - casting auras of green and blue and red across the tundra and of doing all of this while being attentive to pricing and cautious with pennies.

Yes, there is a solution to this dilemma.

Scrub's gonna sneak out and not tell anyone he's going.

The Same Old Song.

5:35 am. Every morning.

Howdy boys and girls - Tiz I... yer old pal Scrub here. Sunday morning.

So - here in Scrub's part of the Great White - we've been treated to some fancy dancy weather. In fact, was so nice yesterday that Scrub rustled up the Kid and we hit the great outdoors. No, No... not for huntin. Not for fishin. (GAWD... not for fishin). No - instead it was a great day to batten down the hatches 'fore the snow starts flyin all permanent like. I tell ya kids - couldn't have been nicer out there.

The Wife had her delicate digits all over Scrub's mouse last night. WOOOOOHOOOOOO! hehe

Seriously though - the Wife commandeered the Toshiba last night and whippped together another digipage. See - there it is. Nice, eh?

That was a pic from when the Kid turned Teen. Just a few weeks ago.

Hey - it was so nice out yesterday, Scrub even

fired up the BBQ and me and the fam had weenies for lunch! Love it - mid November and fire in the pit.

So - 5:35 am. Let me tell you 'bout this nonsense.

The ol internal clock has been going off around 5:30 every day. Seriously. 5:30. And, dont know 'bout you all - but when Scrub's internal clock goes off - pretty much gotta answer the call.

Every morning. Driving me crazy. Get up. Quietly creep around the igloo careful not to wake the Wife and the Kid. Hell - lunatic dog even looks at me with disdain. Kinda the "What the bark are you doin?

Have tried a couple of strategies to deal with it.

Done the warm milk thing. Like drinkin straight from the teat that is. Blech.

Couple of cocktails before bedtime. Nothin. Fun, but didn't help the early morning thing.

BUT - I figured a new strategy. Sort of a negative reinforcement thing. Here's the plan:

*Ding - internal clock goes off. Scrub wakes up. Instead of creeping around the igloo - gonna wake the Wife. Lights on. Blankets off. WAKE UP!

Now - make no mistake. The Wife - she aint a morning gal at the best of times. Nope. Not one little bit. Growly. Grumpy. Confused. Nope, not a morning gal.

If Scrub wakes the Wife at 5:30 - without a diamond ring or Scrappy outing planned - she is gonna be a bear. Big time. She'll be miffed. And, rightly so - will let Scrub know - in no uncertain terms - exactly what she thinks about her hubby wakin her up without a diamond ring to ease the pain or scrappy outing planned. NO UNCERTAIN TERMS.

This, my friends, is not something that I would look forward to. In fact, avoiding such an encounter is the whole reason that I creep around the igloo in an attempt not to awaken the crowd.

BUT - if my brain knows that danger is at the door by wakin up the bear - then perhaps it will keep Scrubbie asleep until a more reasonable hour!

Oh sure - I don't WANT to have to resort to such measures. But, guy's gotta sleep. Right?

I shared this clever plan with the Wife.

The Wife - ummm...less than enthusiastic about the plan.

The plan will not be going into effect.