Goodbye... Farewell... Amen.

Scrubbie's last post.

Morning kids! Scrubbie here at the keyboard and there is much to say.

First a quick wrap up of the past few days.

1. Scrubbie in the big city. Scrub loaded up the go-kart with Hurricane Rona and a cuppa Timmies coffee and we took off to the big city - Toronto. See, Hurricane - she gots a couple'a punk kids that live with their pappy in another province - Quebec. Yep - they be bilingual. French and English. They can swear at Scrub and Scrub just giggles 'cause he thinks they are tellin' jokes. So - the little beasties came in by train to Union Station in TO yesterday and Scrub and Hurricane went to fetch the darlin's. Unveventful trip. Surprisingly. Although - whilst cruising along one of the Great White's major go-kart speedways on the way to Toronto, a black-and-white Ontario Provincial Police car came speeding by us at break-neck speed. Pretty lights flashing - the whole bit. Got me thinking - I'd like to get behind the wheel of one of those fancy schmancy go-karts one day - bein' all tricked out as a Police Interceptor model and all, pretty lights, wailing sirens - and just give'rr. OOOOOO - that'd be fun. Scrub is way too much of a pansy-arsed wimp to take on bad guys though. Koodo's to the OPP's for doin that. But, I'm pretty sure I could pass the "OK, now go REALLY fast in the car" test.

2. Cookin for the fam. As ya'll know, the wife's birthday was last weekend. Well, this weekend, Scrub's hostin' all the out-laws at the igloo here to do a little celebratin' of the occasion. So - I got the hot-box fired up. Went out and got me some local wildlife and am gettin' busy. There'll be pics. Promise.

Ok - that's it for the update. Now, on to the main topic.

You might have noticed Scrubbie made a reference to "the last post". Grab yer hankies kids. Wipe away the tears. Continue to read. It's not that bad.

I have enjoyed my run here over the past while. It was my goal to take over the world, one follower at a time. One blog at a time. And I've enjoyed it. Honest.

But, there comes a time in every man's life when... he has to do things he doesn't want to do.

Today is one of those days.

I couldn't sleep last night. Just thinking about it. Got up outa my sleeping bag twice as a matter of fact. Exited the igloo and looked up at the night sky just to get my bearings. Then, this morning - up before the dawn to make preparations.

Scrub's gotta go kids. He's gotta. And, sadly, there is a good chance he wont be comin' back.

Kissed the kid (blech - 12 yr old sweaty boy smell). Kissed the wife (yum - Scrubette smell). Patted the lunatic dog on the head (blech - fuzzy dog breath smell).

Packed up my things. And, I am shipping out.

It's a dangerous world out there. Scrub knows the risks. There's fighting. There's misunderstanding. The constant struggle just to acquire basic human needs like food and water can bring folks to the brink.

But... I have a penis. And I must answer the call.

Huh? Oh frack no - not goin to war. Just gotta go to the local trading post to pick up brussel sprouts for dinner and ya'll know what that's like on a holiday weekend.

Confession & Redemption

Phenomenon: a rare or significant fact or event.

Howdy boys & girls! Scrubbie here. How is everyone doin?

So - Scrub couldn't write yesterday - he was busy. Ya see - it was the Wife's birthday yesterday!

Sing with me kids: Happy Birthday to You! Happy Birthday to You! Happy Birthday darlin' wi-ife! Happy Birthday to Youuuuuuu!

Listen - sorry to brag - boast - rub it in... but Scrub is one lucky pup. The Wife - she's all that and even more. I just lov'er.

But...

See - there's this thing. About the Wife. And her birthday.

I should back up a little here.

The Blog gods all seem to agree that leadin' yer readers astray is blog-death. Ya can't be givin' them the gears. Tellin' fibs. Ya know - bangin' on the keyboard and just spinnin' tales. Nope. Can't do it.

Scrub's gotta fess up a bit. I may have implied...or suggested...that here in the Great White...we are always...perpetually...constantly...knee deep...in the fluffy white stuff...snow. Well - not entirely true. *Scrub hangs his head in shame.

Shure - there are parts of the Great White that are a tad on the chilly side a little more often than other parts. But - it's a big country. And, we are kinda on the part of the globe that creeps ever so close to the North Pole. Ya gotta expect that parts of the Red and White are a bit chilly. But, in Scrub's part of the Great White - we do in fact... *gulp... have sunshine and bare ground now and then.

Phew - confession is good for the soul.

And, this time of year, Springtime... the fluffy white melts away, birds return, dog sleds get put away - ya know - Springtime.

It's downright beeeuteeeful 'round these parts.

Scrub don't even need a coat and mukluks when headin out to the local trading post!

The last few days - downright balmy!

Ok - so back to the Wife. And her birthday.

There is this phenomenon. No matter how beautiful it may be. Outside. In the days leading up to the Wife's birthday. (It's been up to almost 20 degrees 'round here lately. For you in the Red White and Blue - in Fahrenheit that's like... ummmm... I dunno - dang close to summertime hot!) Come April 4th - snow. Snow. SNOW.

Seriously.

Always.

Hey - Scrub's not leadin' ya astray, or givin' ya the gears, or tellin' fibs. He's not bangin' on the keyboard just spinnin' tales. Nope. Check this out from the Environment Canada Website:

Weather Watches & Warnings: Waterloo - Wellington, Ontario

SNOWFALL WARNING: Waterloo - Wellington - Issued at 4:14 PM EDT SUNDAY 5 APRIL 2009

HEAVY SNOWFALL ON THE WAY.
A DEEP LOW WILL PASS SOUTH OF THE LOWER LAKES MONDAY. SNOW ASSOCIATED WITH THE LOW WILL DEVELOP NEAR LAKE HURON THIS EVENING AND OVER THE REMAINING REGIONS OVERNIGHT. THE SNOW WILL BEGIN AS A BRIEF PERIOD OF RAIN IN MANY PLACES. GENERAL SNOWFALL AMOUNTS OF 15 CENTIMETRES ARE FORECAST WITH UP TO 25 CENTIMETRES IN SOME LOCALES BY MONDAY EVENING. THE SNOW WILL TAPER OFF MONDAY NIGHT WITH THE MAJOR EXCEPTION BEING AREAS TO THE SOUTH-SOUTHEAST OF LAKE HURON AND GEORGIAN BAY WHERE SNOWSQUALLS ARE EXPECTED. BLOWING SNOW IS ALSO EXPECTED IN MANY REGIONS - MAINLY MONDAY AFTERNOON INTO MONDAY NIGHT.

Confession... good for the soul. Redemption... delicious.

Happy Birthday Sweetheart! Even though I'll be out shovellin' the drive over the next couple'a days - I still love ya to bits. Mwah!

Boys and their toys

It's a great day in Scrubbie-ville!

Hey boys and girls - it's your old pal Scrub here.

Ya know - nothin' gets Scrubbie a'gigglin' more than knowing that ya'll pour yerselves a cool refreshing beverage or sit back with a hot steamy cuppa coffee or whatever and take a few moments to voyeur life in the Great White. Makes Scrubbie a happy boy.

One of those peoples that likes to peek in once in a while is Scrub's pal the Geek. Ya'll remember Geek, right? Computer dude who lives nearby. Couple of punk kids. Shacked up with a new gal and now has a menagerie. Ya - Geek.

Anyway - Geek... he's a good bud. Did I tell ya what he got Scrubbie for Christmas this year? No? Well - it wasn't a bottle of vino. Or a bottle of Crown. Or towels for the outhouse. Nah - none of that. It's Geek after all.

Nope, Geek gots Scrub a funky shower-head nozzle thingy. Not very geekish is it. WAIT. Ain't done yet. It lights up! Seriously - lights up! Geek blue when the water is cold. Then red when the water is just right to avoid.... ahem... shrinkage. If ya know what I mean. Gawddang - just love it. Scrubbie, of course, loves showerin' with the outhouse lights turned out now just so he can bask in the glow of a dozen or so little LED bulbs makin the water all purty and sparkly.

Can't picture it? Well - hit the little arrow thingy and check it out.



Kewl huh?




Well - here's another little somethin' that'll get Geek boy just tingling and gigglin' and squealin' like a little girl on Christmas morning...



Yep - it's a keyboard. In Klingon.

Oh glory be!

The Night The Lights Went Out

It's the night the lights went out in... The Great White North.

Hey boys & girls! Rumors of Scrubbie's death are greatly exaggerated.

Yep, tiz I - your ol' pal Scrubbie here. How ya'll doin?

Ok - so today is the day that we globally share in Earth Hour. Huh? What's that you ask? Well - Earth Hour is one day in the year that Scrubs from all 'round our big blue marble are s'posed to shut down, turn off, unplug... well... everything. Seriously. Lights go out. Puters get unplugged. The whole bit. All in an effort to cut power use and give the good 'ol Earth a little breather for a few mins. Personally - not a bad idea. No, no - not a tree hugger. Well - not really any kind of hugger. But, Scrub sure don't mind participatin'. 'Tween you and me - Scrub and the fam use it as an opportunity to have a wee bit 'o fun. In fact, apparently one of Scrub's igloo neighbours will be hostin' a bit of a campfire and all the neighbours are gonna git together for a couple 'a wobbly pops and do some toastin' of marshmallows. Marshmallows, chocolate, graham wafers - you know what that means.... S'Mores! Scrubs gotta load up on the diabetic meds to get ready for tonight.

I wasn't around all week. Guess you know that though by the dates up on the blog up there somewhere's. I know - withdrawl. Sorry kids. Couldn't be helped. The day job was a time sucker last week. And, Scrubs gone and gotten himself wrapped up in one of them thar Non-Profit Charitable thingy's. So - been a bit busy with that this week too. But - it's a Scrubbie weekend now. Heck - didn't even get out to the local workout facility with the Bro-In-Law. Not once. Sheesh.

OOOOO - Scrub's cuzin Dolphin is gonna stop 'round the igloo today with his two punk kids. Dolphin - he's the one with the fam who hails from the mountains of West Virginny in the good 'ol U S of A. Tractor throwing competitions. Eatin wibbly-wobblies off previously masculine creatures. Ya - them. Think Scrub's gonna fire up the hot box and whip up some sorta somethin'-er-other for when the house is fully testosteroned. Scrub, the kid, Dolphin and his two boys. The wife? Nope - she's gone up north. HAHAHA - oh... yer funny! - No, she ain't cariboo huntin this weekend. She's doin her Scrapbookin' thing. Yes - big 'ol Scrap Crop goin on. And, she's up there slappin' it down and gluin' it on and flogging her IN A PINCH DESIGNS kits. *sniff sniff - so lonely 'round the igloo this mornin. Just me and the lunatic fuzzball dawg.

By the way - if ya'll don't mind... I'd really 'preciate ya'll sayin a prayer to whatever higher power ya'll believe in (or if you don't have a higher power - just lift a pint and make a toast...) for my darlin' wife. It needs to be one of those prayers of thanks. Let me explain:

Ya'll recall I'm in love with a schoolgirl, right? The wife - she's returned to school to stuff her brain with more info.

And, as mentioned, Scrub was kinda loaded down with day job stuff yesterday.

So - Scrub had the go-kart to do his day job stuff.

The wife - ya, she ain't really a "take the bus" kinda gal. Never really has been. So - (and right 'bout now you will begin to get the picture as to why prayers of thanks are required) - our good friend, but 'disaster waiting to happen' pal Hurricane Rona offered to chauffeur the wife to her higher learnin' brick and morter locale. Ummmm - it wasn't a head-on colission - but damn'd near close call. The wife and Hurricane - both saw their lives flash 'fore their eyes. We would STILL be reeling from the expeirence - but with Hurricane as a part of the scenario... it's really just another day in the life.

The Frackkin' End

So say we all.

Scrublings! Your ol pal Cousin' Scrubbie here. How goes?

So kids - tiz the day. Final episode of Battlestar Galactica. WooHoo! BooHoo! Gawds - I don't even know how to respond. One one hand, I am excited to see the 2 hour finale tonight. On the other hand - it's over! Gawds Damnit.

The wife, the kid and I went for a little toodle round earlier today. Remember - the kid is on March Break this week. No school for the youngster. Wife - she gots March Break too. No school for the wife. Scrub - well, his office is the big marshmallow chair with his laptop gently warming his lap. So - we all buggered off in the family jalopy - drove to the local landing strip to see if any planes were landing or taking off. Nah - didn't see much. Went in search of a Chip-Wagon (one of those French-Fry trucks that give you golden, deelishush, hot, steamy fries that you sprinkle salt on like snow falling on a winter afternoon. Then drown in Malt Vinegar so the steam lifts the aroma of the vinegar into the air as it gently fades into the stratosphere. Oh - Scrub's gotta go git a cold shower in a second.

However - didn't find a chip wagon open yet. All them chip-wagon owner operators are pansies - can't stand the cold. Hmph.

So - continued our toodlin' around and ended up back at the igloo. Nice afternoon though. Few giggles with the fam. Ya - all good.

So - back to Battlestar I go. Cuppa tea in hand. Wishin the wife would whip up a batch of them thar chocolate chip cookies that makes Scrub's blood sugar sky rocket. Oh Gawds - I love them cookies too.

Catch ya'll later.

Mmmmmmm - cookies.

Green and Red - Nope, not Christmas.

Top 'O the mornin' to ya! Or Bottom 'O the evenin' to ya - depending on your time zone.

Hey kids - Tiz your Uncle Scrubbie here! How are ya'll doin?

Gee whiz boys & girls - it's St.Patrick's Day! And, as a result, I am typing in Green for ya. Are ya feelin' all Irish?

If yer readin' this and yer into St.Pat's Day ('round here in the Great White, anyway) it is more than likely that you are just a wee bit on the tipsy side from sluggin' back barley, malt and hops that has been tinted the colour of the green green grass of home. It is also likely you are wearing a plastic hat that is a colour of green that is not found in nature. And, you are probably sayin' "Wha thu frack am I doin reedin' this she-ite!? Gimme another green beer bar-keep!"

Well, trust me kids - it don't get much better when yer sober. Sorry bout that.

Nevertheless (gee that's a long word to type) - St.Pat's Day - Scrub can't deny the fun and festivities that just fuel up us Nanooks of the North as Spring approaches. So - Scrub'll wrap up this section of my post by wishin' ya all the Luck of the Irish! May it last the whole year through!

On to topic 2.

Hey - this one's in red! OOOOOOO - excitin' ain't it? What does it remind you of? Passion? Yummy Cinnamon Hearts? The colour of Luv?

Me - I gots somethin' else runnin' through my mind.

See - couple years ago - 3 to be exact - on this very day - St.Patrick's Day (whoops - little green got thrown in there!) - so , ya, 3 years ago, March 17th, 2006 - there was Scrub and the Kid - hangin' at home.

The Kid - he was all of 9 yrs old at the time.

March Break here in the Great White. That time of year in the Great White when all the brats get a week off school to torment their parents. Last day of March Break. Middle of the afternoon.

2:10pm as a matter of fact.

Scrub's in the engine room of the igloo. The kid - flopped in front of the tube catchin' an afternoon fix of some animated somethin' er other. Scrub's gots a pot of Irish Stew on the hot box bubblin' away. Figured I s'prise the wife when she came home from whaling and fishing that day.

Scrub's at the computer in the engine room, bangin' on the keyboard.

"What's that?" I think to myself?

Kinda like a train rumblin' by. But, ain't no tracks close to the igloo.

Maybe a big 'ol truck? On our little street? Nah - can't be that.

"What the hell is that?" The rumblin is gettin louder. And LOUDER. And LOUDER.

Then... All of a sudden... KA BOOM.

And when I say KA BOOM... I mean KA-FRACKIN'-BOOM!

2:11 pm Eastern Standard Time.

Now - remember - Scrub's in the engine room. Here is the Great White - some of our igloos are half buried underground. Seriously. No kidding. Half underground. We do it to gain a little extra space. Besides - livin' half underground keeps us warm in the snow.

Anyway - Scrub's in the engine room. Bein' a fancy schmancy igloo - we got concrete walls. Sturdy, eh? But - also gotta remember... KA-FRACKIN'-BOOM! Them concrete walls shook! The ground shook. Stuff fell off the walls.

The kid - "DAD!!!!!"

Scrub - bolts up the stairs like his hair's on fire.

"Did a truck hit the house!?" I mean SERIOUSLY! What the frack was that?!

Scrub comes upstairs - and - well... HOLY FRACK! The igloo's on fire.

No kiddin'. ON FIRE. BIG FIRE.

Well - long story short - (too late) - Scrubbie and the Kid had to hi-tail it outa there prit' darn quick. Mostly cause of the big fireball that was comin' right for us.

That and the sound of the natural gas hissing and sputterin' that was makin the fire burn with a sound - well - kinda like one of them big jumbo 747 jet plane things parked right there in the yard with Mr.Pilot grinnin' while he gots his one foot on the gas pedal and the other on the brake just so's it sounds kewl. Know what I mean? Ya - not a fun sound.

Well - long story short - (whoops - still too late) - Scrub, the Wife, the Kid, even the lunatic dog were homeless, cold, and didn't have nothin' to their names. Weird. I mean - really weird.

All the stuff - ya know - cups, dishes, clothes, pictures, wedding stuff, baby stuff, well... everything... ka-boom.

Gone.

(See that picture there - the kid with Mama Scrubbie... ain't that just the most painful look on a kid ya ever seen?)

Oh - now don't go all soft on Scrub. It was the easiest move from one igloo to another we ever had. Just a grocery bag.

Now yer jealous, aren't ya!

Turns out some firebug was gettin' his or her giggles by puttin flame to paper and watchin' what happens. Lil' bastard.

There ya go again - gettin' soft on me. STOP IT. Seriously. Don't go there.

The Wife and me - we're both first to say that that whole deal - probably the best thing that ever happened to us as a family. Really changes things.

Don't get me wrong - not recommending it as an alternative to a good session with a shrink. But, as it did happen - we took a few days to boo-hoo - then, mostly thanks to the kid - we simply "decided" to turn it around and make it somethin to embrace.

Haha - easiest move ever - just a grocery bag. Still makes me giggle.

The quick and dirty low down.

Scrublings - How are ya! Your 'ol pal Scrubbie here at the keyboard ce soir.

Garsh - it's been donkey years since I last wrote to ya'll. Not so much 'cause nothin's been goin on. Quite the opposite in fact. Here's the summary:

The kid - soccer finals, last game played, came in 4th place in the division. Not too shabby.

The wife - doin school and havin' fun with it. The 'ol girl is doin pretty well too. Quite proud!

Lunatic Dog - well, nothin is different. Eat, sleep, poop, run around the living room of the igloo like her hair's on fire. All the same.

Hurricane Rona - like a bad penny - won't go away. In fact, sittin' here on the sofa as we speak. Wife and her are just waitin' around for The Amazing Race to start. They are convinced they would be good TV if they went on that show. Sure - I agree - they would be good TV. Problem is the two of 'em wouldnt survive a single leg of the show and they'd be booted 'fore ya know it.

The Bro-In-Law - me and him are still hittin the local workout facility. No more yoga though. Nope - we like our joints all in place and are both firm believers that folding ones' self in half just aint right. Happy meds are takin their time doin their thing - but the 'ol boy is faring well and Scrub, for one, is extraordinarily proud of JR for pushin through.

The Sis-In-Law, Dutchie - Happy Birthday Darlin'! Was Dutchie's B-day yesterday. Haven't called her yet. Seein' the dear tomorrow. Will give her a Scrub-hug then.

JR & Dutchie's Daugther, Dancer - Scrub's gots pics of her all tarted up doin't he dance thing. I'll get 'em posted soon. Promise!

Mama & Papa Scrubbie - hangin' in there. Nothing new to report. Mama Scrubbie and Scrub haven't gone shoppin' or lunchin' in such a long time. Sheesh - I think I need a fix soon, or I'll go nutso.

The Outlaws - The wife's parents - ya, nothin new on that front either. Papa Outlaw is using an O2 Tank now. Big "no open flame" signs on their front door. Scrub uses this threat to his advantage. I just show up with a lighter in hand and demand cookies. I get my way. Deliciously evil.

Geek - he's doin just fine. Was over this week geekin' out Hurricane Rona's puter. Still gotta call him to finish geekin' out Scrub's beastie.

Hmmm - slightly disturbin'... Scrub just looked up from the puter screen and there are nekkid guys on the tube. I am not entirely sure what the wife and Hurricane are watchin'. Show called "Brothers & Sisters", I think.

The igloo - slowly thawin' out. My goodness - was so nice goin outside today without havin' to wear layer upon layer of protective skins and furs.

And, finally, Scrubbie - bit of digiscrappin', doin the 9 to 5 thing, started volunteerin' with an organization, made a TV appearance, did a few newspaper interviews, cooked, cleaned, laundry - all the usual stuff that makes up a Scrubbie day.

Oh - and Scrub's doin the facial hair thing. I do that now and then. Grow a little, then shave it off. I know - weird. But, there ya go. As soon as the wife says she don't like lockin' lips no more with the scruff - it's gone. Can't have that now, can we.