The Same Old Song.

5:35 am. Every morning.

Howdy boys and girls - Tiz I... yer old pal Scrub here. Sunday morning.

So - here in Scrub's part of the Great White - we've been treated to some fancy dancy weather. In fact, was so nice yesterday that Scrub rustled up the Kid and we hit the great outdoors. No, No... not for huntin. Not for fishin. (GAWD... not for fishin). No - instead it was a great day to batten down the hatches 'fore the snow starts flyin all permanent like. I tell ya kids - couldn't have been nicer out there.

The Wife had her delicate digits all over Scrub's mouse last night. WOOOOOHOOOOOO! hehe

Seriously though - the Wife commandeered the Toshiba last night and whippped together another digipage. See - there it is. Nice, eh?

That was a pic from when the Kid turned Teen. Just a few weeks ago.

Hey - it was so nice out yesterday, Scrub even

fired up the BBQ and me and the fam had weenies for lunch! Love it - mid November and fire in the pit.

So - 5:35 am. Let me tell you 'bout this nonsense.

The ol internal clock has been going off around 5:30 every day. Seriously. 5:30. And, dont know 'bout you all - but when Scrub's internal clock goes off - pretty much gotta answer the call.

Every morning. Driving me crazy. Get up. Quietly creep around the igloo careful not to wake the Wife and the Kid. Hell - lunatic dog even looks at me with disdain. Kinda the "What the bark are you doin?

Have tried a couple of strategies to deal with it.

Done the warm milk thing. Like drinkin straight from the teat that is. Blech.

Couple of cocktails before bedtime. Nothin. Fun, but didn't help the early morning thing.

BUT - I figured a new strategy. Sort of a negative reinforcement thing. Here's the plan:

*Ding - internal clock goes off. Scrub wakes up. Instead of creeping around the igloo - gonna wake the Wife. Lights on. Blankets off. WAKE UP!

Now - make no mistake. The Wife - she aint a morning gal at the best of times. Nope. Not one little bit. Growly. Grumpy. Confused. Nope, not a morning gal.

If Scrub wakes the Wife at 5:30 - without a diamond ring or Scrappy outing planned - she is gonna be a bear. Big time. She'll be miffed. And, rightly so - will let Scrub know - in no uncertain terms - exactly what she thinks about her hubby wakin her up without a diamond ring to ease the pain or scrappy outing planned. NO UNCERTAIN TERMS.

This, my friends, is not something that I would look forward to. In fact, avoiding such an encounter is the whole reason that I creep around the igloo in an attempt not to awaken the crowd.

BUT - if my brain knows that danger is at the door by wakin up the bear - then perhaps it will keep Scrubbie asleep until a more reasonable hour!

Oh sure - I don't WANT to have to resort to such measures. But, guy's gotta sleep. Right?

I shared this clever plan with the Wife.

The Wife - ummm...less than enthusiastic about the plan.

The plan will not be going into effect.

November 11th.

At the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month...

we remember.

Ugh. Fish.

Nasty little buggers.

Hiya boys & girls - it's your old pal Scrubbie.

Gotch'er clickin' finger ready? Ok - CLICK HERE. When you do - you'll be taken back to a posting from - oh, I dunno - a while back anyway. There... you'll learn that Scrubbie - he don't like fish. Go ahead - click away. Just be sure to hit the BACK button or whatever the hell it is up there. I'll wait for ya.

Back? Ok. Read on.

I wont go on and on about the devil spawn. Not again. Suffice to say - eeeeewwwwwww. No. Wait... I should use capital letters. EEEEEEEWWWWWWW. Oh - and an exclamation mark. EEEEEWWWWWWW! More? EEEEEWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Better? Good. (always here to oblige ya'll)

You get the idea. Scrub... he don't like fish.

Today, Scrub had a lunch date. OOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!

Oh, good heavens - it was a lunch date with a business colleague. All chit chat about marketing and job descriptions and interviews. Nothin' like lunch dates with the Wife when we get googly-eyed at each other over salad and sandwiches. They're much more fun.

Anyway - lunch date. Business colleague.

And - we went to the Mandarin restaurant. Been? It's like this Chinese food buffet that stretches on for a block. Insane. Tasty. But insane. Where else can you chow down on Sweet N Sour chicken balls, onion rings, potato salad and pizza at the same time? Seriously. Where?

So, I get there and a very very polite Kimono wearin' young'en escorts me to a table.

Plunk. There I am. At the table.

Oh - sure... nice table. Clean. Cutlery nicely laid out. Tablecloth.

Very pleasant chap comes over to bring me a glass of H2O. I ask for a Diet Cola with a wedge of lemon. The usual.

Sounds all groovy, don't it?

Well - here is where the horror begins.

I am seated directly beside this big-ass tank of devil spawn. Ooooglie buggers too.

I mean this tank is a mid-wall height to ceiling tank that is clear on both sides and serves as a gal-dang wall 'tween Scrub's eatin' room and the next eatin' room. A WALL! OF DEVIL SPAWN! A WHOLE WALL!

See what I mean? In the pic there? Ugh.

I calls the Wife on one of them newfangled cordless, wireless, magic phones.

"Wife!" I says.

"Hi Boo" she says.

"Wife!" I says. "I am sittin' here at the restaurant beside a gal-dang wall of Devil Spawn. EEEEEWWWWW."

"Well - why don't you move to another table?" she says.

Uh-Oh. Logic.

Logic has been introduced into an otherwise completely scattered, ADHD cluttered, Gemini dual-personality influenced male brain. What the frack?

Heart starts racing. A single bead of sweat glistens off my brow. Damnit. Logic.

"No" I says. "Can't do that" I says.

"Ok. Whatever." she says.

Curses.

See - I am man. There's no moving to another table just 'cause Devil Spawn is ogling me.

No - there'd have to be something pretty serious to alert the staff that I needed to move.

Structural damage to the building that I noticed, perhaps? Structural damage that could potentially cause death? Even that - borders on not being a good reason to move. No. I am stuck there. No getting around it.

Deep breath.

Oops - here comes the colleague. Can't do nothin' about it now.

I stand up. Extend my hand and take firm grip of his. We swap greetings. We sit.

I very carefully turn 17.5 degrees to the right so that Devil Spawn is not in my direct line of vision.

The colleague doesn't notice. Phew.

This, my friends, is how I must endure the next 120 minutes.

Ugh.

Advice from Scrubbie. I love to help.

"How's the weather up there, eh?"

'Ello, 'ello kids. Scrub at the keyboard. How are ya?

Here's a travel tip for all you planning on a Canadian adventure. It's pretty easy to get along here in the Great White. For the most part, we're an easy goin' bunch. We're not hard to get along with. And, you don't have much to worry about in terms of mingling in and amongst us.

First - be sure to stop in for coffee at Tim Hortons. They are easy to find. Just go down any major street and within a couple of blocks - you'll see one. Stop in. That's where you'll find most of us. In there.

You need to know directions? Places to go? Things to do? Lodging for the night? Go ahead - ask us. Only too happy to share.

Feeling a little nervous about striking up a chat with a total stranger? No problem. Here, my friends, I will share with you perfectly good ice-breakers that will warm the heart of any true Canuck.

1. "Did you see the hockey game last night? What was the final score?" (Don't worry about which game specifically. The truth is that there is hockey going on 365 days a year 'round here. Regardless the town you're in... regardless the time of year... regardless who you speak to - there IS a hockey game to talk about.)

2. "I can't believe it's {insert day i.e. Monday, Wednesday, Friday etc}." We here in Canada are always... and I mean always astonished when we wake up in the morning that it is whatever day it is. If it's a Monday - we cant believe the weekend went by. If it's Friday - we cant believe the weekend is upon us. It's nice actually. Being astonished like this. Every day. Always exciting. In Canada, our preference is to have just one day. All the time. Every day. Saturday.

3. "What's your favourite bagel?" Sure - Timmies has doughnuts, biscuits, soup and sandwiches. But - it's the bagel that rocks our world. Everything bagel. Toasted with herb & garlic cream cheese. Yum. Or Cinnamon Raisin... toasted with butter. Just don't order from the corner of Belmont and Glasgow in Kitchener. They suck.

4. The final tip - and the best tip: "Can you believe the weather, eh?" Now kids... take Scrub's word for it. If nothing else - learn this phraseology. Black or white. Short or tall. Fat or thin. Man or woman. Hunter or fisherman. It doesn't matter. "Can you believe the weather, eh?" is the one phrase... no... make that the ONLY phrase you need to know in order to cut through a crowd and make a friend here in the Great White. Be sure to dedicate a good 5 minutes to the ensuing conversation. Yes - the conversation isn't really so much of a conversation as it is a verbal tennis match of single words or short sentences resulting in... well... resulting in absolutely nothing. Expect something like:

YOU: Can you believe the weather, eh?

THEM: I know!

YOU: Beautiful! (or Snowy, or Cold, or Rainy... you get the idea)

THEM: Ya. Too much.

YOU: Well, it could be worse.

THEM: That's fer shure. Could be (colder, wetter, snowier, nicer etc. again... you get the idea)

YOU: Then we'd be askin' for this.

THEM: Got that right.

YOU: At least it's not... (insert anything that is worse than what the current condition is)

THEM: That's fer shure.

YOU: Hey - how do I find the local trading post? (or whatever you are lookin for)

At this point - the Timmies patron and his or her pals now have accepted you into the circle and recognize you as a trusted friend. You will receive directions. They will also likely add "have a good day, eh" at the end. Listen for this phrase - you'll hear it regardless of any accent you might find in the country. This is your cue that the conversation is done and you are now free to travel again.

Don't worry if you didn't catch all the directions or instructions - there's another Timmies only minutes away and a fresh batch of Canucks, ready to lend a hand.

Just mention the weather.

"I know it was you Fredo. You broke my heart."

S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y NIGHT!

Evening boys & girls. It's yer ol pal Scrub here. How are ya?

Soooo.... The Wife is scrappin' outa town. The Kid - at Bing & Bong's place. Just Scrub and the lunatic dog at the igloo tonight.

Spent the day today soakin' up some of the last nice weather I think we'll be havin. Was outside beginning the shut down process for the shack 'fore the snow flies and the temp drops to -100.

Honest to goodness kids - there really ain't nothin to report. Sad, eh?

You'd think with the igloo to myself, I'd be havin' a wing ding or somethin' goin on. But nooooo. Had a date with the washin' machine. Me and the kitchen sink spent some time together. Oh - and the vacuum and I shared a rather intimate moment. Huh? OH C'MON... you know darn well what I mean. Sheesh. Filthy monkees.

So - tonight, Scrubs fillin his glass with golden nectar that is Crown Royal. And, in between folding some sheets and towels, he's puttin' his feet up and catching The Godfather II on the tube.

Chatted with the Wife earlier. She's havin a good time with gal pal the Joodster. The two of them with their scrappin' biz - In A Pinch Designs... just secured themselves another wholesale account. Some store somewhere that's gonna be carryin' their stuff. Not sure, off hand, where - but somewhere out there - ya'll are gonna be treated to some kewl paper and glue traditional scrappin'.

Oh - speakin' of scrappin... here's a little digi somethin'-er-other that Scrub put together.

As ya'll might recall, the Bro-In-Law, JR, brought over his wee fella, Whoagun, for the traditional Halloween visit. The squirt was dressed up in one of his favourite TV character costumes. So - Scrub thought "why not go all out?" hehe

I just love throwin the kids into scenes like this.

WooHoo Photoshop.

Choo-Choo!

I consent. Give it to me.

Howdy kids. Scrubbie here. How are ya'll?

So - Scrub's still here.

Pumped full of Swine Flu juice. Arm is gall-darn'd sore. And, things are just tickety-boo.

Ok - for those who are pending gettin' the shot... It's not that bad. Really.

Typical shot in the arm. Left deltoid, intramuscular... just in case you were wondering.

Started earlier in the day - had to stand in line. As you can see - I was #498. I was aiming for #500. But - close enough. Stood in line for an hour and a half to get that wristband. Round these parts, all Scrubs and Scrubettes are being offered up the shot for free. This week - it's those at higher risk of complications if you were to happen to pick up H1N1. Scrub fits into that category. So - stood in line. Got my wristband. Left the clinic for a while. Went back around 5:30pm. Was in and out in about 40 mins. Smooth as silk. Everyone was just as nice as could be. Really well organized. Yep - was nothin but a positive experience.

Shot's a little different. Apparently, they're using shark liver oil as a suspension (or somethin like that). Makes the serum a little thicker than a typical shot. You can feel it. But - again... ain't that bad. Holy smoly though - talk about a sore arm afterwards. Feels like one helluva punch and bruise.

After we got the shot (the Wife and the Kid ended up comin' with. I picked up wristbands for them earlier in the day as well. Yep - they were "soooo surprised". hehehe.) (oh - and ya, they are in a higher risk category as well). Anyway... after we got the shot... nurse lady told us to make sure we move our arms. Keep 'em moving. Because the serum is thicker, she said, it can really stiffen up.

So - the Wife... came up with "choo-choo" and moving the arm. Like a train. Get it? The arm thingies of the train that makes the wheels go 'round. Get it?

The three of us - keep goin around everywhere - "Choo-Choo".

Oh ya. Not only seems to help - but gives ya a good case of the giggles too.

"You're gonna feel a pinch."

Lord help me.

Morning kids. It's a squeamish Scrubbie here this morning.

Yes, m'darlin's - today is the day.

H1N1 shot today. Today. This afternoon. Only hours from now.

The Bro-In-Law, JR - ain't comin' with me.

The Wife - abandoned me.

The Kid - we're keepin him in school this aft instead of yanking him for the shot.

The Lunatic Dog - they wont do her.

I'm all alone.

Sigh.

Well - time to grow a pair. Buck up. Roll up the sleeve. And pass out like a man.

Wish me luck.

Ok - so my nephew Whogun stopped by Halloween night. The Bro-In-Law, JR brought the little fart over for a quick visit. See him there? With the Kid. Awwwwww. Cute, eh?

Like the background paper? Hop on over to my pal at Midnight Scrapping. Click away kids! Click away!

So - providing I survive the horror of this afternoon's shot in the arm... this weekend, 'da boys at Scrub's are all solo. That's right. The Wife and her gal pals are scrappin' outa town. It's a weekend affair too. Cartoons, chicken wings, pizza - here we come! WoooooooHooooooooo!

Alrighty - at this very moment - outside the window of Scrub's igloo - it is snowing.

Yes. That's right.

Snowing.

Frack.

This means, of course, that the Wife is gonna have to wrap her scrappin' stuff pretty good in plastic to survive the trip to her Scrappy weekend by dog sled. Wouldn't want all that paper gettin' wet, would we?