Keep your arms and feet inside the ride at all times. Good advice.

Anybody gots an aspirin? Tylenol? Anything?

Hey Scrubs and Scrubettes. Your older-than-most who where there pal Scrubbie here.

Geez Louise...

So, Scrub and the kid hopped in the go-kart yesterday and went for a jaunt to one of our Great White playgrounds - Canada's Wonderland. Go ahead - all you visiting from afar - Google it. I'll be here when you get back.

Back? Alrighty. So - Canada's Wonderland. Whipped out the magic whiz-bang card and paid for our tickets in. (Magic Whiz-Bang Card = a debit card. Called the Magic Whiz-Bang Card cause you swipe it through one of those little boxes, punch a few numbers in and Whiz! Bang! Your money is gone.)

Why just the kid and I? Well - couple 'a reasons. First - the kid had an uneartly fear of roller coasters. Seriously.

The wife and I - not so much. Love the beasties. So - figured it was only natural that the fruit of our loins (eeewwwwww) should love 'em too. But, year after year - nadda.

So, this year, the kid bein 12 and all... thought we'd give it another go.

And, you will have noticed (all those of you who are not souced on giggly-juice right now) that I did type "HAD an unearthly fear". Yep - the kid did it! Faced his fear and hopped on board one of them thar death trains. And, like any of you who like coasters know... do it once, and u'r hooked. Kinda like makin whoopee. Ain't it. Ya know - An hour leading up to it - then 2 and a half minutes of screamin and you're done.

Anyway...

The coaster of choice: Behemoth. Dear Gawd, kids. This one is 'da bomb. Need to Google it? Go ahead. Not in the mood? Just check out the pic. Explains it all...


See - there it is. WooHoo! Oodles of fun, let me tell ya.

Out of towners... a highly recommended locale for your next getaway.

Oh - just make sure to bring along a whole whackload of tradin' items with ya. Lunch for the kid and Scrub which consisted of a burger and fries, chicken fingers and fries and two soda pops - 25 bucks. Seriously. Bottle of Cola there - 4 bucks. Ya, not a fan of that. But - what can ya do. They got ya so they'll milk ya dry.

The other reason for the Scrub & Son trip - well, I mentioned that the wife and I have a horn-dog of a son on our hands. Apparently, some switch went off and the kid is practically gettin whiplash everytime some pretty young thing goes strollin by. And, he's goin out to dances - parties - blah blah blah. So - in the tradition of Fathers and Sons everywhere in the world - the kid and I had one of them thar 'chats' - 'bout stuff and such.

Thought it would be a good idea to pepper in conversations throughout the day rather than sittin the boy down at the local waterin' hole and makin' it all intense and stuff. Let me tell ya - it was a good day.

The fodder for some of our chats was all around us yesterday. 'Specially when it came to providing advice on the kind of gals to avoid. Yech - they were a'plenty!

Oh - c'mon now... all you mom's out there readin' this.... you know what I mean. Sure you do. As our good friend and gal-pal the Joodster says: "As long as they dont come home with those 'skanky' girls - I'm fine."

Well... Joodster... don't send yer boys there alone.

That's all I'm sayin.

That Voodoo that You Do...

Are you kidding me?

Evening Scrublings - Uncle Scrubbie here at the keyboard ce soir.

So... our dear friend Hurricane. Ya'll recall Hurricane, right? She's the one who thinks Spam and Relish on squishy fresh white bread is God's gift to culinary cuisine... Ya - her. Gawd love'er. Anyway, Hurricane has sustained a wee injury. And, the poor gal's in pain. Serious pain.

Oh - it's self inflicted.

A purse that weighs more than most airlines allow in carry-on. And, a somewhat unhealthy additction Bejeweled - that computer game that features... well... bling. Lots of bling. Shiny objects. Dingly dangly sound effects. Ya - Hurricane loves shiny. Anyway - ya, addicted to Bejeweled.

So - Hurricane's gots a pretty hefty case of tendonitis goin on. And - pain. Sheesh - haven't seen the gal holler like that since the last sale at the local trading post on a blinged-out sticky tape dispenser.

The wife took Hurricane to the local vet yesterday and they gave her some happy drugs. Yep - we had a space cadet 'round the igloo yesterday. So - drove her home and tucked her in.

But the story don't end just yet.

Important to know: Hurricane - she don't like needles. Nope, not one little bit. Screams like a banshee even if she thinks about 'em. Seriously.

Well - don't know who. Dont know how. But someone 'er other has put the bug in her brain that accupuncture is the way to go. Now - I'm not all that keen on voodoo. But, I do recognize that for some... voodoo works. And God Bless 'em - do what ya gotta do. But - Hurriane and Accupunture? Weeelllllllll - just doesn't go together like peanut butter and jelly in my mind.

The wife and I - ya, we think she doesn't really get it. But.... she will! Bwahahaha!

Now - there is one little thing.

The wife and I are gonna have to go with Hurricane. When she goes to the Witch Doctor. Ya - we have to go with her.

No no - not to support. Gawd no. We're gonna laugh our arse's off.

No - not to encourage. Not really our thing.

No - not to make sure she goes through with it. Again - dont' care that much.

No no... we are going for an entirely different reason.

We have to talk to the doc. Make sure..... he.... or she.... doesn't..... ummmm.... well.....accupunture the.... ummmm... wrong spot...... ummmmm....

How do I explain?

Ahhhhh - got it. A picture says a thousand words.....

Resistance is futile.

Ahhhh yes.... Summer is upon us!

Afternoon kidlings - your old pal Scrub here.

We have officially hit the summer with the passing of last weekend. And since then - we have enjoyed Canada Day here in the Great White and to our Yankee Doodle Dandy neighboureenoes in the south - Happy 4th of July!

The pic? Oh ya... it's the looney bunch that I call family. That's them. We had our family reunion the other week - got the whole gang together. You might have seen some of the close up pics of the cousins? Yep - they were there too. All in all - they are a good bunch. Sure - we have the oddballs in the crowd. Dont' we all? But - it was good times all around.

So - that brings us up to this weekend. Gawd - I love Saturdays! Today - yard work. Cut the grass. (ya, even in the Great White - we do see the green stuff for a few weeks. Pretty kewl.) Did up the outdoor dining space - made it look all purty. And, am preparing myself for some charred meat at a pal's place. Where we going? Well... since you asked...

Ya'll know Hurricane right? Our dear friend and walking disaster-waiting-to-happen. Well - her silly parents thought to themselves, one romantic evening, that it might be a good idea to have two rugrats floating around. (truth be told - they had 3)

Well - Hurricane's sister - whom we shall simply call Tornado - has invited the wife, the kid, the kid's punk pal Bobby (more on that later) and Scrubbie over to her place (along with Hurricane) for a Q tonight. The wife and I have taken out extra insurance... don't worry. Thanks for thinkin' though.

Oh - and it is Tornado's kid that is the hockey whiz bang - Mike Hoffman - that just got picked up by the Sens. So - we'll get to see him tonight too. Haven't seen the kid in a while. Be good to say congrats in person.

So, ya... the kid. Punk Pal Bobby is over. His zookeeper called last night to ask if the punk could stay with us overnight as they are doin a thing in the big city tonight. So, the wife and I have a couple of tweens who are all ga-ga over the fairer sex on hand. Ya - it's pretty much a nightmare. Scrub's gots every filter possible on the ol' puter downstairs. The wife and I are making preparations for moving all the electronic gizmos to the main floor of the igloo. Gotta keep an eye on the little horn dogs from now on. Oh sure - we got a good kid. Trust him. Love him to bits. But, lets face it. The kid has a penis. And, we all know that we fellas, despite thousands of years of evolution and the invention of manscaping and the metrosexual... still can't resist the calling. Havin a winky is a bit like having the Borg from Star Trek floatin around our undershorts 24-7. Resistance is futile. When the winky says "HEY... YOU.... UP THERE.... I GOT AN IDEA!" - we pretty much have no choice in the matter. Just the way it is.

So - now - gotta go and clean the stank off that developed this morning with all the stuff done 'round the igloo. (grunt grunt) and git myself ready to be seen in public once again.

And, have to round up the testosterones that are wreaking havoc in the engine room downstairs.

The wifes' gonna be home soon from antoher Scrappin' adventure. (Paper, scissors and glue - ya.. that's her version of havin a winky.)

Resistance is futile.

Hurricane - news all around.

Yes, yes - Scrub's at it again!


Blogging that is.

Hey kids - Scrubbie in the house.

Couldn't let the day go by without a nod to our dear friend Hurricane. Ya'll remember Hurricane, right? Lightning strikes twice. Dynamite under the driveway. Inadvertently gives theives their driving escape route 'cause she thought they were lost. Yep - her.

Well - today is a special day for Hurricane. Why you ask? Well - cause it was this day 14 years ago that Hurricane brought Big D into the world. Yep - it is Hurricane's offsprings' Birthday today. And, being as Hurricane is as much as part of the wifes' and my lives as you can get without bein blood, and she is the Godmother to the kid (*gulp) - that makes her guys practically our guys too. And, we love 'em to death.



Happy Birthday Big D!











And - another good news story for Hurricane, and the rest of us - Hurricane's wee nephew is someone mentioned ealier. Mike Hoffman is his name. See... when Michael was still in diapers - if we turned our heads for only a few moments, when you looked back - he'd be gone. Best place to look - UP. Ya - he'd climb up the fireplace to the ceiling or something. Oh my... this boy was a "go-er". Anyway... in recent years, Mikey has been playin' hockey and done pretty well for himself. In fact, just this past weekend, the wee fart got picked up by the Ottawa Senators. No kiddin'. The boy is playin in the NHL. Geez Louise. Needless to say, Mikey, his mammy and pappy and Auntie Hurricane are all just pleased as punch.


And, so are we.

Congrats Michael!

Congrats Hurricane!

Happy Birthday Big D!

Looks like the chocolate (Hurricane's favourite food group) will be flowin at the igloo tonight.

Our Home and Native Land

Happy Canada Day!

Hey kids - yer ol pal Scrub on the keyboard. 'Sup?

July 1st. Canada Day. Happy Birthday Great White! Ya, I am proud Canuck. Beavertails. Back Bacon. Snow. Yep - we got it all. Oh - we gots lots more too. But the list.... oh, it is soooo long. Seriously. Suffice to say, this boy is Red & White proud. Yep.

And, bein' Canada Day here in the Great White - local trading posts are closed up and most have got the day off to frolick and play. It'll be a good day. Doin' fireworks tonight - providing it don't piddle with rain. Couple of cocktails on the agenda, no doubt. And, of course, time for bloggin' and digiscrappin'.

Speakin of which...

Keepin' with the Cousins theme... here is Dolphin.

He's like my bro.

Ya'll remember him, right? West Virginia homeboy. Family throws tractors instead of lawn darts. Eats the testicles of poor, unsuspecting de-masculated beasts. Yep - that's him. Gawd love'em.

Anyway....

The kid. Geez. The kid. Scrub's follicles in his noggin' are goin' grey pretty damnd quick.

First - the kid - now Grade 8.

Second - the kid - 'parently his wittle wibbley wobblies have kicked into high gear 'cause talk of the fairer sex has been non-stop. The scent of young'en cologne has been waftin through the igloo like wildfire.

Third - as school has cut for the summer now... means the rugrat is underfoot 24-7.

Ya know... this whole Summer Vacation thing... started 'cause the young'ens were released from their academic studies in order to help the family work the farms. Do the planting and harvesting. Milk the cows. Get the preserves ready for the winter months. Stuff like that. Hmmmmm - think I'll get me a milking goat and teach my young fella how to get up at 4am. Watch for pics.

Mid June! What the heck!

I know - I know... mid June already. Where has the time gone!

Heya kiddie winks - your old pal Scrubbie on the interweb once again.

Gee willikers - to say that life's been busy is a bit of an understatement. But - allow me get ya'll caught up.

First - was Scrubs Burrfday just t'other day. No kiddin'. Oh - oodles of fun! Mamma Scrub, Pappa Scrub and Scrubs Bro all pitched in to ensure Scrub had some drinkin' stuff for his burrfday. Sure - you know.... Crown. Me and Crown... been good pals for a long time. This year, no different. (Yes, Yes... all you non-Canucks are thinkin all we do is suck back whisky and brew in the Great White. Well... ummmm.... ya. Ok. We do that. WHAT!? It keeps us warm.) And, the OutLaws and all Scrubs pals joined in for some celebratory moments too. Thanks everyone. Brung tears to m'eyes.

Second - Scrub's gots himself a Blackberry. Yep - one of them "walk around and talk to people phone thingy's that has email and everything on it." Had it sewn in to my forearm. Damn thing keeps buzzin and chimin'. Non stop. Apparently... (get this into ya)... it even does the interweb thing! Gawd - never been so hooked up. Oh - best part of all... GPS built right in! And, faithful Scrubs round the world will know that this old fella here aint gots no sense of direction whatsoever. So - darnd good thing that GPS is inter-hooked or whatever. GPS? Ya know - Gawd Please Save me. I'm lost. Ya... that.

Next - The wife - she's a brunette! Holy Crap! Came through the door and WHUMP - brunette. Went to one of them magic shops for a couple of hours. Came home. And, now, we are headin out to pick out new shampoo, make up and wardrobe cause apparently nothing matches anymore. Oh - and we have to paint the igloo too. Seriously.

And, finally - the whole Scrub fam got together for the annual Family Reunion. Nah - didn't tell ya'll about it in advance. Too much of an opportunity to take us all out in one swoop. Good times. Had the whole fam out for some giggles and kicks. And, we are all about the food. So - there was an abundance of it there. I tell ya... good times all around.

Snapped a few pics of some of the lunatics at the family reunion. One pic of my cuzin Andrew came out pretty good. And, just happened to have a little digi-paper lyin around. So quick whipped together a bit of somethin somethin. Wanna see?

There's the wee fella. Good guy. Like him a lot.

He's a hubby, a dad. Just plain 'ol nice guy.

But - to be honest... most of the fam are great.

I like 'em all.

Alot.

In doses.

Alert!

GAWD! Not another one!

Mornin' kids - your old pal Scrub here.

Oh yes - another one. Terrifying, ain't it?

They just keep coming.

Nothin we can do about it.

Well - I guess there is somethin we could do about it. But, I am more than confident (meanin' pretty damn'd sure) that SOMEONE would have SOMETHIN to say about it.

It's not like when you gots too many of those darn'd geese around and you gotta pull out the sling shot to cut down the poplulation.

Or when the moose all decide to take up residence on the front lawn of the igloo and badda-boom, badda-bing - we gots moose burgers for dinner for the next 3 months.

No - this is a little different.

Huh? What am I talkin about? Oh sorry - thought ya'll were caught up on this.

Teenagers. Motly. Unruly. Unkempt. Loud. Smelly. Zitty faced. Voice crackly. Ya know - teenagers.

Like a pestilence they are. They'da talked more about 'em in the Bible - along with the frogs and the locusts... but, ran outa room.

The kid? No, No. Not yet. Comin' though. *sigh.

No - in this case we're talkin about Bing of Bing and Bong fame. Ya, the lad hit the magic number recently. 14.

Oh - alright... ya got me. It aint that bad. In fact, in this case, I gotta admit - we love the lil bugger. He's a good kid. Practically one of our own.

So - I'll just sing HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU. HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR BI-IN-ING. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUUUU. We love ya sport.