Saturday, April 24, 2010

It's A Wonderful Day in the Neighbourhood

... a wonderful day in the neighbourhood. Won't you be my... won't you be my.... neighbour.

Howdy boys & girls - tiz yer ol pal Scrub here. How are ya?

First - to our red white and blue neighbours to the south - the spelling of neighbours. I know. Different. But - hey - that's how we roll here in the Great White. We also spell the word colour... well... c.o.l.o.u.r. See... in the dead of winter - well, most of the time really... when we've got nothin' else to do - we just throw random letters into words for fun. Honestly - it's mostly to see who's not giddy on wobbly pops. If they catch the extra vowel - we know their stone sober and alright to take the dogs out for a run with the sled. Welcome to Canada, eh.

So kids - today is a great day! Why? Well, let me fill ya in.

See - over the past few weeks, the Wife and me and our deal pal Hurricane (you remember Hurricane, right? Bankrupts airlines. Tackles tricky and congested driving scenes by rolling down the window and yelling "MY TURN". Considers triple strength instant coffee a food group. Ya - her.) Anyway... me, the Wife and Hurricane usually sit ourselves down on a Monday night to catch all the action on a little program called 24. Jack Bauer. "Trust me". Body counts rising by the minute. The moment you get to know a character, they blow up. Ya - you got it.

But... the past few weeks... me, the Wife and Hurricane have not been able to sit down to enjoy our weekly run of Bauer and 24. Quite a few weeks, as a matter of fact. 6 weeks to be exact.

BUT!!!!!.... Fear not, my friends! Here, in the Great White, we have this technology that allows us to take programs on the moving picture machine and - brace yourselves - RECORD IT FOR FUTURE VIEWING!!!! Hallelujah!!!!! (C'mon... I'm a dude and have to have my toys, right?)

So - today is the day kids.

Went and fetched some meat from the local trading post. Will be firing up the 'ol fire pit. Hurricane is coming over. (reminds me... gotta pay insurance next week.) Got the good 'ol Crown Royal ready to pour. Yes, today is the day. It's a 24 marathon!

Gawddamm - life is grand.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Sharing Happiness ! !

Hey kids - it's yer old pal Scrub here. How are ya?

Alrighty - lets talk about Sharing Happiness, shall we? No, I'm not talking about wrapping big, brawny and fantastically ripped Scrubbie arms around you... no. no.

Nor am I suggesting that Scrub and the wife have hit the jackpot in the local Great White lottery and we're gonna start spreading the wealth like peanut butter on morning whole wheat toast. While delicious... this is not what I'm going at here.

No kids... in this case, Scrub is commenting on the fact that one of his groovy email addy's he uses for his noble volunteer work was grabbed by someone else and used to send out some stupid email with the subject "Sharing Happiness ! !" and gave Scrubs colleagues and network (that includes local police big shots, movers and shakers of some half million people and some of the fancy-schmancy government big shots that rule the roost 'round these parts) some bizarre song and dance about spreading the love and inheriting money and crap like that.

And - to top it all off... Scrub's gonna put on his Sunday best in a week to host and emcee the mega event of the year where all of these pillars of the community will be hob-knobbin' with each other.

Oh ya - I look like a friggin' ass right now. Frack.