Friday, March 20, 2009

The Frackkin' End

So say we all.

Scrublings! Your ol pal Cousin' Scrubbie here. How goes?

So kids - tiz the day. Final episode of Battlestar Galactica. WooHoo! BooHoo! Gawds - I don't even know how to respond. One one hand, I am excited to see the 2 hour finale tonight. On the other hand - it's over! Gawds Damnit.

The wife, the kid and I went for a little toodle round earlier today. Remember - the kid is on March Break this week. No school for the youngster. Wife - she gots March Break too. No school for the wife. Scrub - well, his office is the big marshmallow chair with his laptop gently warming his lap. So - we all buggered off in the family jalopy - drove to the local landing strip to see if any planes were landing or taking off. Nah - didn't see much. Went in search of a Chip-Wagon (one of those French-Fry trucks that give you golden, deelishush, hot, steamy fries that you sprinkle salt on like snow falling on a winter afternoon. Then drown in Malt Vinegar so the steam lifts the aroma of the vinegar into the air as it gently fades into the stratosphere. Oh - Scrub's gotta go git a cold shower in a second.

However - didn't find a chip wagon open yet. All them chip-wagon owner operators are pansies - can't stand the cold. Hmph.

So - continued our toodlin' around and ended up back at the igloo. Nice afternoon though. Few giggles with the fam. Ya - all good.

So - back to Battlestar I go. Cuppa tea in hand. Wishin the wife would whip up a batch of them thar chocolate chip cookies that makes Scrub's blood sugar sky rocket. Oh Gawds - I love them cookies too.

Catch ya'll later.

Mmmmmmm - cookies.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Green and Red - Nope, not Christmas.

Top 'O the mornin' to ya! Or Bottom 'O the evenin' to ya - depending on your time zone.

Hey kids - Tiz your Uncle Scrubbie here! How are ya'll doin?

Gee whiz boys & girls - it's St.Patrick's Day! And, as a result, I am typing in Green for ya. Are ya feelin' all Irish?

If yer readin' this and yer into St
.Pat's Day ('round here in the Great White, anyway) it is more than likely that you are just a wee bit on the tipsy side from sluggin' back barley, malt and hops that has been tinted the colour of the green green grass of home. It is also likely you are wearing a plastic hat that is a colour of green that is not found in nature. And, you are probably sayin' "Wha thu frack am I doin reedin' this she-ite!? Gimme another green beer bar-keep!"

Well, trust me kids - it don't get much better when yer sober. Sorry bout that.

Nevertheless (gee that's a long word to type) - St.Pat's Day - Scrub can't deny the fun and festivities that just fuel up us Nanooks of the North as Spring approaches.
So - Scrub'll wrap up this section of my post by wishin' ya all the Luck of the Irish! May it last the whole year through!

On to topic 2.

Hey - this one's in red! OOOOOOO - excitin' ain't it? What does it remind you of? Passion? Yummy Cinnamon Hearts? The colour of Luv?

Me - I gots somethin' else runnin' through my

See - couple years ago - 3 to be exact - on this very day - St.Patrick's Day
(whoops - little green got thrown in there!) - so , ya, 3 years ago, March 17th, 2006 - there was Scrub and the Kid - hangin' at home.

The Kid - he was all of 9 yrs old at the time.

March Break here in the Great White. That time of year in the Great White when all the brats get a week off school to torment their parents. Last day of March Break. Middle of the afternoon.

2:10pm as a matter of fact.

Scrub's in the engine room of the igloo. The kid - flopped in front of the tube catchin' an afternoon fix of some animated somethin' er other. Scrub's gots a pot of Irish Stew on the hot box bubblin' away.
Figured I s'prise the wife when she came home from whaling and fishing that day.

Scrub's at the computer in the engine room, bangin' on the keyboard.

"What's that?" I think to myself?

Kinda like a train rumblin' by.
But, ain't no tracks close to the igloo.

Maybe a big 'ol truck?
On our little street? Nah - can't be that.

"What the hell is that?"
The rumblin is gettin louder. And LOUDER. And LOUDER.

All of a sudden... KA BOOM.

And when I say KA BOOM... I

2:11 pm Eastern Standard Time.

Now - remember - Scrub's in the engine room. Here is the Great White - some of our igloos are half buried underground. Seriously. No kidding. Half underground. We do it to gain a little extra space. Besides - livin' half underground keeps us warm in the snow.

Anyway - Scrub's in the engine room. Bein' a fancy schmancy igloo - we got concrete walls. Sturdy, eh? But - also gotta remember... KA-FRACKIN'-BOOM! Them concrete walls shook!
The ground shook. Stuff fell off the walls.

The kid - "

Scrub - bolts up the stairs like his hair's on fire.

"Did a truck hit the house!?" I mean SERIOUSLY! What the f
rack was that?!

Scrub comes upstairs - and - well... HOLY FRACK! The igloo's on fire.

No kiddin'. ON FIRE. BIG FIRE.

Well - long story short - (too late) - Scrubbie and the Kid had to hi-tail it outa there prit' darn quick. Mostly cause of the big fireball that was comin' right for us.

That and the sound of the natural gas hissing and sputterin' that was makin the fire burn with a sound - well - kinda like one of them big jumbo 747 jet plane things parked right there in the yard with Mr.Pilot grinnin' while he gots his one foot on the gas pedal and the other on the brake just so's it sounds kewl. Know what I mean? Ya - not a fun sound.

Well - long story short - (whoops - still too late) - Scrub, the Wife, the Kid, even the lunatic dog were homeless, cold, and didn't have nothin' to their names. Weird. I mean - really weird.

All the stuff - ya know - cups, dishes, clothes, pictures, wedding stuff, baby stuff, well... everything... ka-boom.


(See that picture there - the kid with Mama Scrubbie... ain't that just the most painful look on a kid ya ever seen?)

Oh - now don't go all soft on Scrub. It was the easiest move from one igloo to another we ever had. Just a grocery bag.

Now yer jealous, aren't ya!

Turns out some firebug was gettin' his or her giggles by puttin flame to paper and watchin' what happens. Lil' bastard.

There ya go aga
in - gettin' soft on me. STOP IT. Seriously. Don't go there.

The Wife and me - we're both first to say that that whole deal - probably the best thing that ever happened to us as a family. Really changes things.

Don't get me wrong - not recommending it as an alternative to a good session with a shrink. But, as it did happen - we took a few days to boo-hoo - then, mostly thanks to the kid - we simply "decided" to turn it around and make it somethin to embrace.

Haha - easiest move ever - just a grocery bag. Still makes me giggle.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

The quick and dirty low down.

Scrublings - How are ya! Your 'ol pal Scrubbie here at the keyboard ce soir.

Garsh - it's been donkey years since I last wrote to ya'll. Not so much 'cause nothin's been goin on. Quite the opposite in fact. Here's the summary:

The kid - soccer finals, last game played, came in 4th place in the division. Not too shabby.

The wife - doin school and havin' fun with it. The 'ol girl is doin pretty well too. Quite proud!

Lunatic Dog - well, nothin is different. Eat, sleep, poop, run around the living room of the igloo like her hair's on fire. All the same.

Hurricane Rona - like a bad penny - won't go away. In fact, sittin' here on the sofa as we speak. Wife and her are just waitin' around for The Amazing Race to start. They are convinced they would be good TV if they went on that show. Sure - I agree - they would be good TV. Problem is the two of 'em wouldnt survive a single leg of the show and they'd be booted 'fore ya know it.

The Bro-In-Law - me and him are still hittin the local workout facility. No more yoga though. Nope - we like our joints all in place and are both firm believers that folding ones' self in half just aint right. Happy meds are takin their time doin their thing - but the 'ol boy is faring well and Scrub, for one, is extraordinarily proud of JR for pushin through.

The Sis-In-Law, Dutchie - Happy Birthday Darlin'! Was Dutchie's B-day yesterday. Haven't called her yet. Seein' the dear tomorrow. Will give her a Scrub-hug then.

JR & Dutchie's Daugther, Dancer - Scrub's gots pics of her all tarted up doin't he dance thing. I'll get 'em posted soon. Promise!

Mama & Papa Scrubbie - hangin' in there. Nothing new to report. Mama Scrubbie and Scrub haven't gone shoppin' or lunchin' in such a long time. Sheesh - I think I need a fix soon, or I'll go nutso.

The Outlaws - The wife's parents - ya, nothin new on that front either. Papa Outlaw is using an O2 Tank now. Big "no open flame" signs on their front door. Scrub uses this threat to his advantage. I just show up with a lighter in hand and demand cookies. I get my way. Deliciously evil.

Geek - he's doin just fine. Was over this week geekin' out Hurricane Rona's puter. Still gotta call him to finish geekin' out Scrub's beastie.

Hmmm - slightly disturbin'... Scrub just looked up from the puter screen and there are nekkid guys on the tube. I am not entirely sure what the wife and Hurricane are watchin'. Show called "Brothers & Sisters", I think.

The igloo - slowly thawin' out. My goodness - was so nice goin outside today without havin' to wear layer upon layer of protective skins and furs.

And, finally, Scrubbie - bit of digiscrappin', doin the 9 to 5 thing, started volunteerin' with an organization, made a TV appearance, did a few newspaper interviews, cooked, cleaned, laundry - all the usual stuff that makes up a Scrubbie day.

Oh - and Scrub's doin the facial hair thing. I do that now and then. Grow a little, then shave it off. I know - weird. But, there ya go. As soon as the wife says she don't like lockin' lips no more with the scruff - it's gone. Can't have that now, can we.