Saturday, June 5, 2010

Hey Buddy. Would you mind not parking your black hole on my lawn?


Morning Scrubs, Scrubettes. It's yer old pal Scrubbie here. How are ya?

He's here! He's here! *Scrub sings while doing a little jig.

Ok. I admit it. I am a bit of a geek. But - c'mon... you gotta admit. It's like having a bit of a celebrity right here on the front step of the Scrub Shack. Uber Geek Stephen Hawking - here. Right here. Right HERE!

I can practically feel my own quantum atoms vibrating a light speed, I am so excited!

Huh? You don't feel it?

Hmmmmm. Kids - this guy is not only an Uber Geek; not only THE premier physicist; not only super-cool when it comes to theories of Time and Space and the cosmos.... he's been on Star Trek: The Next Gen!

If dude there were to outfit his wheelchair with a sliding red eye-light, paint it black and call it KITT - It'd be like Knight Rider Steve Hawking. Frack. I'd pretty much switch teams and marry the guy.

Yes boys and girls - Scrubs fair little 'burb here is all a-buzz with the Einstein of our generation being right here to swap brain-spit with other smarty-pants at the local think-tank. It really is quite exciting.

On the other hand - crazy cat lady a few doors down continues to let her beasts run amok (oooooo - 'amok'... "Amok Time".... episode of Trek, the original series.... 2 Trek references in one posting!!!!! I'm gonna need a cold shower if this continues.)

It's not that I don't like cats.

I hate them.

Scrub's a dog guy.

Dog people generally dont groove with cat people.

Oh sure - cats are cute. When hollowed out and used as slippers.

Oh relax. Scrubs not one of those people that would do harm to the little beasts. I just don't like when crazy cat lady lets the wee buggers roam 24-7.

They leave little cat presents frackin' everywhere. Know what I mean? Blech.

Then there's the ever present sight of one of the critters strolling like it's queen of all things - with a bird in it's mouth. Argh.

And while on the topic of elevators - Scrub and the Wife are gonna be providing assistance and support to the Wife's mommy and daddy - Scrub's outlaws - as they prepare to relocate themselves from 10 stories up to only 3 stories up. Well - 3 stories up with a helluva nice view. Yep - the outlaws are moving. So - it's off to their place to pack up their knick knacks and move 'em down a few floors in their apartment building to a really nice spot with a nice nature view rather than the parking lot view. That's happening tomorrow.

Today - The Wife and her gal pal the Joodster are doin' their scrappy thing at a crop in a local burb.

Me - think Scurb's gonna fire up the grill and sear some meat. Scrub is always happy when searing meat.

Oh kids - Saturday is upon us! Now go - love your Saturday. That's what I'm gonna do.

Monday, May 31, 2010

Oh the Irony

Every now and then... somethin just comes back to bite ya in the ass.

Howdy boys & girls. Yer ol pal Uncle Scrub here. How u doin?

Dont ya hate when somethin so innocent... so innocuous.... so well intentioned.... comes back to haunt ya?

Check out this ad from 1999:

Yes kids. THIS makes me giggle.

Oh - before you send the hate mail... the whole oil thing doesn't make me giggle. The ad makes me giggle. We all good? Kewl.

So - what else we got goin on?

Well - for one thing - to Scrub's neighbours to the south in the good 'ol Red White and Blue - Happy Memorial Day.

Weird, eh? "Happy" Memorial Day. That's not right.

I hope ya'll have a good Memorial Day.

Nope - that's not quite right either, is it?

Perhaps... simply.... it's Memorial Day.

Here in the land of Red and White, eskimos and igloos, snow and pretty coloured money - we have something similar. It's not for a while yet though.

Here's what I got to say about it all:

Whether you agree with the fact that guys and gals who are neighbours, friends and family are off in some locale somewhere - beating heat, exhaustion and, more often than not, kids barely out of diapers playing with explosives instead of Tonka toys - whether you agree with it or not - days like today are not for complaining, protesting, demonstrating or generally bitching. Days like today are for honouring those who themselves have chosen to step up, step out and make what they believe is a difference for their loved ones and their country.

Everybody should go home at the end of the day. Ya know - you wake up. Shower. Go to work. Slug it out for a few hours. Then - go home. Grab a glass of water. Sit in the comfy chair. Complain about a customer or a co-worker. Eat some grub. Watch TV. Go to bed. Do it again the next day. The point is - you go home.

Days like today are for honouring those that didn't go home.

Days like today are to remind the families of those that didn't go home - that their loss wasn't for nothing.

Days like today are for hoping that one day in the future - we won't have days like today.

For now though - we do.

For now - we have people (more kids, really) - who have stepped up to make a difference.

Thank goodness they do because gawd knows - I wouldn't. Just don't have the balls. Know what I mean?

So - there it is.

Now - having taken a brief moment there - I shall now return to preparing myself for the coming thunder bumper storm and will now batten down the hatches.


Sunday, May 30, 2010

Trucker, Grumpy Ex-Fireman and B2B.

Weekends. Glorious. Simply glorious.

Howdy kids. Yer ol pal Scrubbie here. How are ya doin?

Weekends. Fantastic, eh? I know. Sometimes - it's all pleasure. Sometimes - it's a weekend of the "honey-do" list. Either one is ok with me. But - now brace yerselves... - this weekend was a bit of both for Scrub! It's like the best of both worlds.

On the workish front - Scrub took to doin' some arbour work. Ya know - trees and stuff. Out front of the Scrub Shack - we have this tree. Big fella. But, there's a few branches here and there that have simply given up the ghost. Dead. Bare. So - grabbed me one of them saw things on the end of a long pole and went to town.

Helluva slug that was - but I gotta admit - things are lookin real nice outside the shack right now.

Then, on the happy front - it was a weekend filled with seared meat on the grill, music, good times with the Wife and the Kid. Yep - nice all around.

Oh - and last night - The Wife and me cleared some space outside and had a couple of the neighbours over. Wellll - it was mostly a couple of the guys 'round the neighbourhood that stopped by. Bottles and glasses in hand. So - sat around till stupid hours of the night enjoyin cocktails and having a few giggles. Last night - we had Trucker over. Beside him was grumpy ex-fireman and to round out the batch was B2B. Huh? oh - ya... guess I should fill ya in.

So - as ya'll know - Scrub enjoys a full cast of characters, pals and whackjobs around him.

Trucker - one of the nicest guys you could ever meet. Yes - a trucker. Not one of them sleazy truckers. Blech. No - this guy - real nice.

Grumpy Ex-Fireman - name pretty much sums it up. Recently retired from puttin' out flames. Generally grumpy. But - he'd run a mile for ya at the drop of a dime.

B2B - likely needs the most explaining. See.... I could him him Geek. But, that name is already given to my ultra pal.... well.... my ultra pal Geek. I could call him uber-geek. That is pretty fitting. But, no. Uber-geek is called B2B. Here's why.

Nice guy. Like him. Alot. Works at RIM. Worked at RIM since RIM was a pipe dream. (Ya know RIM, right? The Blackberry place? Ya - that one.)

When B2B has a conversation with you - it's just like having a Blackberry conversation. Ya know when you're chattin' via Blackberry.... you type out a sentence or two. Then.... there.... is..... a.... pause.... while.... the.... other..... person..... types...... out..... a..... reply...... then...... sends...... it..... back. You get to then say your piece. Hit send. Then..... you....... have....... to....... pause...... again.

Well - talkin to B2B is just like that. He says something. Then there's a pause. You're never quite sure if he is done talking or not. So, you say something back. Then there's another pause while he puts together the next sentence.

It's like having a living Blackberry chat. Blackberry to Blackberry. Therefore - you got it.... B2B.

Anyway - there it is. A little playtime. A little workin' time. And, now... Sunday night.... sittin outside with the Wife. Hurricane is over. Had a little dinner. Relaxin' time.

Oh ya kids. This is it.