Thursday, July 9, 2009

Keep your arms and feet inside the ride at all times. Good advice.

Anybody gots an aspirin? Tylenol? Anything?

Hey Scrubs and Scrubettes. Your older-than-most who where there pal Scrubbie here.

Geez Louise...

So, Scrub and the kid hopped in the go-kart yesterday and went for a jaunt to one of our Great White playgrounds - Canada's Wonderland. Go ahead - all you visiting from afar - Google it. I'll be here when you get back.

Back? Alrighty. So - Canada's Wonderland. Whipped out the magic whiz-bang card and paid for our tickets in. (Magic Whiz-Bang Card = a debit card. Called the Magic Whiz-Bang Card cause you swipe it through one of those little boxes, punch a few numbers in and Whiz! Bang! Your money is gone.)

Why just the kid and I? Well - couple 'a reasons. First - the kid had an uneartly fear of roller coasters. Seriously.

The wife and I - not so much. Love the beasties. So - figured it was only natural that the fruit of our loins (eeewwwwww) should love 'em too. But, year after year - nadda.

So, this year, the kid bein 12 and all... thought we'd give it another go.

And, you will have noticed (all those of you who are not souced on giggly-juice right now) that I did type "HAD an unearthly fear". Yep - the kid did it! Faced his fear and hopped on board one of them thar death trains. And, like any of you who like coasters know... do it once, and u'r hooked. Kinda like makin whoopee. Ain't it. Ya know - An hour leading up to it - then 2 and a half minutes of screamin and you're done.


The coaster of choice: Behemoth. Dear Gawd, kids. This one is 'da bomb. Need to Google it? Go ahead. Not in the mood? Just check out the pic. Explains it all...

See - there it is. WooHoo! Oodles of fun, let me tell ya.

Out of towners... a highly recommended locale for your next getaway.

Oh - just make sure to bring along a whole whackload of tradin' items with ya. Lunch for the kid and Scrub which consisted of a burger and fries, chicken fingers and fries and two soda pops - 25 bucks. Seriously. Bottle of Cola there - 4 bucks. Ya, not a fan of that. But - what can ya do. They got ya so they'll milk ya dry.

The other reason for the Scrub & Son trip - well, I mentioned that the wife and I have a horn-dog of a son on our hands. Apparently, some switch went off and the kid is practically gettin whiplash everytime some pretty young thing goes strollin by. And, he's goin out to dances - parties - blah blah blah. So - in the tradition of Fathers and Sons everywhere in the world - the kid and I had one of them thar 'chats' - 'bout stuff and such.

Thought it would be a good idea to pepper in conversations throughout the day rather than sittin the boy down at the local waterin' hole and makin' it all intense and stuff. Let me tell ya - it was a good day.

The fodder for some of our chats was all around us yesterday. 'Specially when it came to providing advice on the kind of gals to avoid. Yech - they were a'plenty!

Oh - c'mon now... all you mom's out there readin' this.... you know what I mean. Sure you do. As our good friend and gal-pal the Joodster says: "As long as they dont come home with those 'skanky' girls - I'm fine."

Well... Joodster... don't send yer boys there alone.

That's all I'm sayin.

Monday, July 6, 2009

That Voodoo that You Do...

Are you kidding me?

Evening Scrublings - Uncle Scrubbie here at the keyboard ce soir.

So... our dear friend Hurricane. Ya'll recall Hurricane, right? She's the one who thinks Spam and Relish on squishy fresh white bread is God's gift to culinary cuisine... Ya - her. Gawd love'er. Anyway, Hurricane has sustained a wee injury. And, the poor gal's in pain. Serious pain.

Oh - it's self inflicted.

A purse that weighs more than most airlines allow in carry-on. And, a somewhat unhealthy additction Bejeweled - that computer game that features... well... bling. Lots of bling. Shiny objects. Dingly dangly sound effects. Ya - Hurricane loves shiny. Anyway - ya, addicted to Bejeweled.

So - Hurricane's gots a pretty hefty case of tendonitis goin on. And - pain. Sheesh - haven't seen the gal holler like that since the last sale at the local trading post on a blinged-out sticky tape dispenser.

The wife took Hurricane to the local vet yesterday and they gave her some happy drugs. Yep - we had a space cadet 'round the igloo yesterday. So - drove her home and tucked her in.

But the story don't end just yet.

Important to know: Hurricane - she don't like needles. Nope, not one little bit. Screams like a banshee even if she thinks about 'em. Seriously.

Well - don't know who. Dont know how. But someone 'er other has put the bug in her brain that accupuncture is the way to go. Now - I'm not all that keen on voodoo. But, I do recognize that for some... voodoo works. And God Bless 'em - do what ya gotta do. But - Hurriane and Accupunture? Weeelllllllll - just doesn't go together like peanut butter and jelly in my mind.

The wife and I - ya, we think she doesn't really get it. But.... she will! Bwahahaha!

Now - there is one little thing.

The wife and I are gonna have to go with Hurricane. When she goes to the Witch Doctor. Ya - we have to go with her.

No no - not to support. Gawd no. We're gonna laugh our arse's off.

No - not to encourage. Not really our thing.

No - not to make sure she goes through with it. Again - dont' care that much.

No no... we are going for an entirely different reason.

We have to talk to the doc. Make sure..... he.... or she.... doesn't..... ummmm.... well.....accupunture the.... ummmm... wrong spot...... ummmmm....

How do I explain?

Ahhhhh - got it. A picture says a thousand words.....