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Saturday, April 11, 2009

Goodbye... Farewell... Amen.

Scrubbie's last post.

Morning kids! Scrubbie here at the keyboard and there is much to say.

First a quick wrap up of the past few days.

1. Scrubbie in the big city. Scrub loaded up the go-kart with Hurricane Rona and a cuppa Timmies coffee and we took off to the big city - Toronto. See, Hurricane - she gots a couple'a punk kids that live with their pappy in another province - Quebec. Yep - they be bilingual. French and English. They can swear at Scrub and Scrub just giggles 'cause he thinks they are tellin' jokes. So - the little beasties came in by train to Union Station in TO yesterday and Scrub and Hurricane went to fetch the darlin's. Unveventful trip. Surprisingly. Although - whilst cruising along one of the Great White's major go-kart speedways on the way to Toronto, a black-and-white Ontario Provincial Police car came speeding by us at break-neck speed. Pretty lights flashing - the whole bit. Got me thinking - I'd like to get behind the wheel of one of those fancy schmancy go-karts one day - bein' all tricked out as a Police Interceptor model and all, pretty lights, wailing sirens - and just give'rr. OOOOOO - that'd be fun. Scrub is way too much of a pansy-arsed wimp to take on bad guys though. Koodo's to the OPP's for doin that. But, I'm pretty sure I could pass the "OK, now go REALLY fast in the car" test.

2. Cookin for the fam. As ya'll know, the wife's birthday was last weekend. Well, this weekend, Scrub's hostin' all the out-laws at the igloo here to do a little celebratin' of the occasion. So - I got the hot-box fired up. Went out and got me some local wildlife and am gettin' busy. There'll be pics. Promise.

Ok - that's it for the update. Now, on to the main topic.

You might have noticed Scrubbie made a reference to "the last post". Grab yer hankies kids. Wipe away the tears. Continue to read. It's not that bad.

I have enjoyed my run here over the past while. It was my goal to take over the world, one follower at a time. One blog at a time. And I've enjoyed it. Honest.

But, there comes a time in every man's life when... he has to do things he doesn't want to do.

Today is one of those days.

I couldn't sleep last night. Just thinking about it. Got up outa my sleeping bag twice as a matter of fact. Exited the igloo and looked up at the night sky just to get my bearings. Then, this morning - up before the dawn to make preparations.

Scrub's gotta go kids. He's gotta. And, sadly, there is a good chance he wont be comin' back.

Kissed the kid (blech - 12 yr old sweaty boy smell). Kissed the wife (yum - Scrubette smell). Patted the lunatic dog on the head (blech - fuzzy dog breath smell).

Packed up my things. And, I am shipping out.

It's a dangerous world out there. Scrub knows the risks. There's fighting. There's misunderstanding. The constant struggle just to acquire basic human needs like food and water can bring folks to the brink.

But... I have a penis. And I must answer the call.

Huh? Oh frack no - not goin to war. Just gotta go to the local trading post to pick up brussel sprouts for dinner and ya'll know what that's like on a holiday weekend.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Confession & Redemption

Phenomenon: a rare or significant fact or event.

Howdy boys & girls! Scrubbie here. How is everyone doin?

So - Scrub couldn't write yesterday - he was busy. Ya see - it was the Wife's birthday yesterday!

Sing with me kids: Happy Birthday to You! Happy Birthday to You! Happy Birthday darlin' wi-ife! Happy Birthday to Youuuuuuu!

Listen - sorry to brag - boast - rub it in... but Scrub is one lucky pup. The Wife - she's all that and even more. I just lov'er.

But...

See - there's this thing. About the Wife. And her birthday.

I should back up a little here.

The Blog gods all seem to agree that leadin' yer readers astray is blog-death. Ya can't be givin' them the gears. Tellin' fibs. Ya know - bangin' on the keyboard and just spinnin' tales. Nope. Can't do it.

Scrub's gotta fess up a bit. I may have implied...or suggested...that here in the Great White...we are always...perpetually...constantly...knee deep...in the fluffy white stuff...snow. Well - not entirely true. *Scrub hangs his head in shame.

Shure - there are parts of the Great White that are a tad on the chilly side a little more often than other parts. But - it's a big country. And, we are kinda on the part of the globe that creeps ever so close to the North Pole. Ya gotta expect that parts of the Red and White are a bit chilly. But, in Scrub's part of the Great White - we do in fact... *gulp... have sunshine and bare ground now and then.

Phew - confession is good for the soul.

And, this time of year, Springtime... the fluffy white melts away, birds return, dog sleds get put away - ya know - Springtime.

It's downright beeeuteeeful 'round these parts.

Scrub don't even need a coat and mukluks when headin out to the local trading post!

The last few days - downright balmy!

Ok - so back to the Wife. And her birthday.

There is this phenomenon. No matter how beautiful it may be. Outside. In the days leading up to the Wife's birthday. (It's been up to almost 20 degrees 'round here lately. For you in the Red White and Blue - in Fahrenheit that's like... ummmm... I dunno - dang close to summertime hot!) Come April 4th - snow. Snow. SNOW.

Seriously.

Always.

Hey - Scrub's not leadin' ya astray, or givin' ya the gears, or tellin' fibs. He's not bangin' on the keyboard just spinnin' tales. Nope. Check this out from the Environment Canada Website:

Weather Watches & Warnings: Waterloo - Wellington, Ontario

SNOWFALL WARNING: Waterloo - Wellington - Issued at 4:14 PM EDT SUNDAY 5 APRIL 2009

HEAVY SNOWFALL ON THE WAY.
A DEEP LOW WILL PASS SOUTH OF THE LOWER LAKES MONDAY. SNOW ASSOCIATED WITH THE LOW WILL DEVELOP NEAR LAKE HURON THIS EVENING AND OVER THE REMAINING REGIONS OVERNIGHT. THE SNOW WILL BEGIN AS A BRIEF PERIOD OF RAIN IN MANY PLACES. GENERAL SNOWFALL AMOUNTS OF 15 CENTIMETRES ARE FORECAST WITH UP TO 25 CENTIMETRES IN SOME LOCALES BY MONDAY EVENING. THE SNOW WILL TAPER OFF MONDAY NIGHT WITH THE MAJOR EXCEPTION BEING AREAS TO THE SOUTH-SOUTHEAST OF LAKE HURON AND GEORGIAN BAY WHERE SNOWSQUALLS ARE EXPECTED. BLOWING SNOW IS ALSO EXPECTED IN MANY REGIONS - MAINLY MONDAY AFTERNOON INTO MONDAY NIGHT.
Confession... good for the soul. Redemption... delicious.

Happy Birthday Sweetheart! Even though I'll be out shovellin' the drive over the next couple'a days - I still love ya to bits. Mwah!