Tuesday, July 21, 2009


"Please, oh please BLOG me!"

Morning kids. Yer old pal Scrubbie here.

Gotta tell ya - this whole interweb blogging thing - oodles of fun. And, the fam
all knows about it. Well - most of them do. Some of them dont. Which, if you have read some of Scrub's entries, is a good thing. I get to say what I want and still enjoy a good curry dinner now and then.

And, the fam - Gaw'd love 'em - like to plant blog seeds with Scrub. Sometimes they even do it on purpose.

Ya'll remember the Bro-In-Law, JR, right? Handsome, buff, slightly warped but happily medicated, and a magnet for naked-guy at the gym. Yep - him. Well - JR loves playin with his balls.


Geez - ya'll need more coffee or somethin. GOLF! JR likes playin' golf.

Scrub - not so much. In fact, and I think I might have mentioned this once before... Scrub was invited to play in one of those golf tournies a while back. I advised my coworkers and team that Scrub ain't a golfer. But, they insisted I'd have fun. So - went.

Well - shortly into the round, probably about the 9th hole or so, my good pal PornStar (so called cause his name is the same as a rather famous adult entertainment star with a rather long... ummmm.... schlong. There. I said it) - uuuhhhhhh - oh ya: my good pal PornStar actually said to me "Scrubbie..." he said... "Please don't EVER play golf again."

From that point forward, and in subsequent tournies - Scrub was officially the course bartender and gots to drive the golf cart thingy ensuring that everyone was socially lubricated. Yep - good for me.

Anyway - back to JR. And, his balls.

So - JR, bein a lover of the game, gets his giggles from living, breathing and eating the game of golf. And, up here in the Great White - when we are treated to a few days without the fluffly white stuff on the group - actually have a few patches of lawn set aside for people to run around and whack a few balls around and call it a game. Sure - most of the time, we just use gopher holes as targets, but, in some cases, we actually take a few mins to tidy things up and turn the lawn into somethin' quite attractive to those that do play golf.

One such case is in a burb in Ontario called Oakville. Ya - another Great White city named after nature. We are really quite fond of doing that. Makes ya wonder if we have Birch-ville. Or Pine-ville. or Daffodil-ville. Doesn't it?

And, in Oakville, this week, there is a fancy-schmancy game of golf going on. Ever heard of Mike Weir? If not - he is a golfer. Pretty darn'd good at it too. No gettin around it. Anyway - In Oakville, there is this game... the Mike Weir Charity Golf Classic. All kindsa folk joined in to play. Kevin Costner. Michael Jordan. Few other big name Golf types.

Why mention all this? Well, cause as you recall... I said JR likes the game. ALOT. So - in order to get the giggles, JR takes a few days off work to volunteer to be a hole jockey. Or whatever it is called. Basically - it's like he is the host of a hole. GawdDam - how funny does that sound. I dunno - he makes sure peoples dont get in the way. Stay behind the "keep out" fence. Dont make farty sounds when the golfers are takin their swings. That kinda stuff.

So - put all this together - and you now have the picture. Scrub's dear Bro-In-Law, JR, was hob-nobbin'! Seriously! The kid was hob-nobbin. Right there. With all them famous peoples. Geez.

JR - he's a quiet hob-nobber though. Doesn't run up for autographs. Pictures. Dinner dates. Nope - just takes a few snaps and calls it a day.

But - then again... JR is a Canuck. And, if there is one thing that we Canucks have a reputation for... it's bein polite. Ya know... don't get all in-your-face kinda people. We like it that way.

No - Canucks are not rude, obtuse, obscene.

You'd never catch us talkin all nasty and dirty. Specially on the interweb.

So, just to recap this post: Booze. JR. Naked Guy. Knobs and Balls.

Have a nice day.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Sweet Sounds and Sweet Sights

Hey kids - Scrub again. It's a lazy Sunday 'round the Scrub Shack.

Laundry. Gots a chunk of meat in the hot box in prep for the Sunday Family Dinner. Old flicks on the tube.

The kid - stayed at Bing and Bong's last night. Again. And, it at this very moment crashed out on the couch on the lower level of the igloo.

The wife - sauntered off to meet a couple 'a gal pals from High School days. One of them - genuine Canadian Forces. The other - RIM exec.

So - was fartin around with a bit more digi-scrap stuff and had another pic from Jazz Fest.

Ain't she just gorgeous.

Ya, I know.

So - time to bugger off once again. Gotta tend to the meat in the hotbox. Sort *gulp* socks. Socks suck.

Scrub thinks this lazy Sunday deserves a wee drop of the hooch.


Another of Scrub's Fav Fives

"Honey! Where's my Metformin?"

Hey kids - tiz your 'ol pal Scrubbie here.

My goodness... ya'll gots one of these where you live? A Dairy Queen? (NO - not some woman magnate in the milk industry... geez.)

Well - we here in North America - we gots lots of 'em. Been around for a while too. 'Course in the Great White - there are quite a few of them closed up during the snowy seasons. I dunno - seems as though alot of us Canucks are just not in the mood for icy cold treats when it is negative 400 degrees outside.

But, when the 'ol DQ is open - geez louise... we go lining up.

The DQ is an evil place for diabetics. You can always tell the diabetics too. They are the ones that either go in with a mask on just in case we're spotted and get the lecture on managing blood sugar, or they are the ones that start yawning instantly after finishing off their sinful treat. You'll often find us hiding in the bathroom scarfing down our metformin tablets in order to keep the numbers from reaching into the high double-digits. (Ya - in the Great White, we measure BG levels a little differently than our neighboureeno's to the south.)

Anyway - The DQ.

So - Scrub has decided to share his fav five DQ treats with ya. Ready? Ok... here they are:

#5 - The Banana Split. Oh joyous mounds of soft-serve ice cream with multiple flavours dripping down your mountainous heaps - how do I love thee?

#4 - The Banana Split Blizzard - Bit of a cheat - I know. It's a Banana Split thrown in a blender for 6 seconds.

#3 - A chocolate cherry sundae - the kids behind the counter have a bit of a fit if I order this. See... it's not actually on the menu. I usually end up having to explain to them how to make it. "You make a chocolate sundae and put a scoop of cherry topping on it". Usually solicits some kind of blank stare. I order this as much for the entertainment as the taste.

#2 - The chocolate dipped cone - Pure, simple - nothin' beats it. That soft ice cream with that chocolate coating on it - mmmm... deelishshus.

And... My #1 fav treat at DQ is...

A Pineapple Milkshake. I tell ya kids - if there is one thing that screams summertime to me - it is the taste of a pineapple milkshake.

Lets close this posting with a little prayer, shall we?

"Dear Lord... It is yer old pal Scrub here. How you doin? Hey - Lord... Seriously... Thanks for Pineapple Milkshakes. Well - thanks for pineapples and ice cream and cows for milk and stuff. Lord - Pineapple Milkshakes, Beavers, Trees, Flowers - all great ideas. Cheers."

And - Amen to that.