Saturday, February 14, 2009

Hey Baby... Wanna date?

I'm datin' a student!

Evenin' kids - Uncle Scrubbie here again.

The wife and I are closing out another Smoochey Day. Incredible dinner (roast beef, Yorkshire Pudding, Roasted red potatoe wedges, medallion carrots, horseradish, apple gravy - and tons of smoochee-poo chocolate for dessert - oh ya baby!). Hurricane is here. The kid - went to a girls place to hang out for the afternoon. Apparently made a decent impression with the parents - he was invited to stay for dinner. Just waitin' on the call to go and fetch the lad.

So - mentioned datin' a student. Well - the wife is startin' school on Tuesday! A year long program - Honours Biz Admin. Geez. That means Scrub's makin' two lunches everyday now.

The fam had a little meeting yesterday to discuss this new life for the next 52 weeks. Most important was the ground rules.

Told the wife:

1. Sleepovers - don't mind her bringin her new school chums home - but sleepovers only on the weekends. The kid and the wife have to switch off weekends.
2. Homework - no computer, no scrapbooking and no decorating shows until homework is done.
3. Bedtimes - will be strictly observed. Anyone complaining about having to wake up will have to hit the sack an hour earlier that night.
4. Tuck Shop - once a week. 5 dollar budget max.
And, finally... 5. No coming home with pink hair and multiple piercings just cause the other girls at school are doing it. Simple as that.

Phew - glad that is done.

Now, Scrubs gotta put together a couple 'a bucks and go out to the local trading post to pick up a new backpack and pencils and binders for the 'ol girl. Oh - gotta remember to pick up one of those fancy schmancy markers to put her name in all her panties. (*snicker... Scrubbie said "panties")

Well - I should really get off the interweb now. Scrubs gotta go and get sexy lookin. Huh? Why? Cause it's Valentines Day and he wants to git all jiggy for the wife and get down and busy with a couple of hours of yahoo time? Oh, no. Scrubs gotta go and get all sexy lookin cause this school thing is gonna empty the sock under the mattress to the tune of about 15 thousand colourful Canadian dollars and Scrubs gotta go and hit King Street downtown to make a few bucks.

Wish me luck.

Oh - it's Kissy Lips day.

It's Valentines Day.

Hey boys & girls - Scrubbie here.

Yes, it's Valentines Day.

And, THIS is The Wife.

Boy oh boy - there really is so much that I would love to say here. Truth be told - Scrub just don't know where to begin.

Perhaps shorter is better in cases like this.

So - on that note - let me just say to the world here - that there just ain't nobody - nobody - that Scrub would rather spend idle time with, giggle with, venture forth with the dogsled into the Great White with, survive with or simple be with than The Wife.

Excuse me kids - time for a Scrubbie Aside:

Darlin' - your eyes, your lips, your absolutely fabulous bazooms (oh - maybe I shouldn't have said that) - I am in love with you! For 20 odd years, I have loved spendin' V day with you. And in the grand scheme - V day is just one of the 365 that I spend loving you more and more. Let the honeymoon continue! Smooch!

Ok - I'm back.

Scrub is one lucky fella. The Wife - she's da bomb. Nuff said.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Birds of a feather...

Hey kids - Scrub here. Wanna read an email that Scrub just got?

Maybe I should set this up for ya.

No secret that Scrub ain't the sharpest tool in the shed, right? Ya'll already know that Scrub's gots the ADHD thing goin. Somethin' shiny floats by and you pretty much gotta snap me back if you want my attention again. And, combine that with the whole brain chemical imbalance thingy that requires my daily dose of Happy Pills - well, you get the idea. My brain is pretty much like an amusement park on a sunny day. Sorta explains things, don't it?

And, ya'll know how people like to hang with like minded people, right?

Well - Scrub's got himself one of those like minded people alright. A few of them as a matter of fact. Geek boy. Hurricane Rona. The kid. The lunatic dog. Just to name a few.

Another in the cast is my very dear friend who also happens to be family. The Bro-In-Law, JR.

Yes Yes - ya'll know him. He's the one that Scrub goes to the gym with. So much more fun to go with a pal when you are sculpting pectoral muscles that are, well, simply spectacular. (Modesty runs in my fam. Just ask Scrubbie's mommy.)

Well, since JR and Scrub are pals - both in and out of the gym - it follows that he may - well... could - well... IS - just a wee 'titch on the "ever so slightly imbalanced" side too.

Oh... relax - he knows Scrub loves him. I'd be the first to put up my dukes to anyone who said a nasty word about the wee fart.

Anyway - back to being ever so slightly imbalanced. JR, ya see, has recently taken to Happy Pills as well. Different happy pills - but happy pills none-the-less.

The boy is Bi-Polar. (No, No - not two white fuzzy bears that live on icebergs. Sheesh.) Ya know - Bi-polar... REALLY happy then REALLY not happy. And, all in a span of like 12 seconds. The nicest guy you'd ever meet - then a complete prick. Again - 12 seconds. Rainbows and sunshine - then the world is going to hell in a handbasket. Yep - you got it... 12 seconds. Talk about a roller coaster. Not just for him - but for everyone around him too. It's exhausting.

Anyway - long story short (I know... "too late") - Up, Down, Up, Down, Family miffed, JR sad, Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, Shrink, Happy Pills and here we are.

Now - for those of you who do not get to experience the thrill of taking brain balancing meds - Let 'ol Scrubbie fill ya in.

(By the way... apparently Scrub gets quite a few visitors to the 'ol blogeroo evertime he mentions VENOFLAXINE - whoops - there ya go... more googlers have just popped in. HEY - GOOGLERS that have just popped in - Not sure if you are reading 'cause you are lookin into happy pills or what - but if you are - here's the heads up on stuff!)

So - back to fillin' ya in: When you start poppin' the happy pills - not too much happens. In fact, it takes a few days for the wee buggers to kick in and start doin' their thing. It's not a quick fix - that's for sure. But, when they do - boy oh boy! Well - you all saw me through it, right? I was just a cantankerous old bustard for few posts. hehehehehe. Well - the wife'll tell ya I was unpleasant.

And, with JR - not much different. For the most part - my 'lil brother has been kinda on the quiet side for the last few weeks. (It takes a lot outa ya when you learn about bein bi-polar and stuff.) And, we have been patiently waitin for the happy pills to kick in.

Email messages tend to be sorta 'short'. Ya know - the one liner kinds. You know how it is when you are simply exhausted from sun up to sun down and not in a good mood and not happy with things - stuff like that. Ya - like that.

I sent a quick message to JR just a little while ago that simply said:


toJR at work
dateThu, Feb 12, 2009 at 2:46 PM

Dude! goin to the club tonight?
He sent a reply.

Read on.

dateThu, Feb 12, 2009 at 3:29 PM

YES! The sky is falling and I need to work off some dark thoughts. Meds got bumped up last night and it has been quit the trip today. Don't know why I even came into work today. Surprised I was even able to drive this morning. The cars behind me must of enjoyed my imitation of a NASCAR car loosen up the tires at the start of race. Why talk about race, what was that, that just flew by. Holy hannah boys and girls hang onto your hats!

Wow, that felt weird. Maybe I shouldn't play with heavy objects tonight. I might start screaming at everyone for looking at me. Agian, Holy hannah boys and girls hang onto your hats!

Gotta go, get to spend more money. wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hey, don't tell anyone but wheeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!! isn't in the spellcheck. HAHAHAHA! guy man laugh from the old 7up commercial. LOL hesterically at my own joke.

Hey, you gotta blog this. Hey picture this. Guy, sitting at his desk with a "optical mouse". It's not working cause guy thinks he has to use it by moving the laser over his eye. get it.

Okay, how about we just go for a coffee. I am to tired now to even think of gym. I knew I a dog name gym. Oh wait that was boo. Anyways, spicey got hair cut, by a professional, not by a dutch girl.


Apparently, Happy Pills have kicked in.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Scrubbie's on the air.

Evenin' kids - Scrubbie here.

Well, Scrubbie was on the radio. I'll share a lil' secret with ya. Just 'tween us though.
Scrubbie has a day job that doesn't involve blogging.

Phew - confession is good for the soul. Now, the secret is out.

So - Scrub got invited to hit the airwaves and share his insight and expertise with a hungry audience. Bwaaa-haa-haa! Oh my goodness. Went well though. Mr. Radio Host has invited me back again. Geez - maybe Scrub'll get to take over the world via the interweb and the listening world. HeeeHeee.

Hey - here's some excitin' news. Hurricane Rona - our dear friend and walking disaster-waiting-to-happen - she sells sanctuary. Oh hey - that sounds like a song. So, Hurricane - she is a real estate agent. The 'ol dear has just invaded the igloo here for a wee drop 'a Crown and Cola to celebrate another successful igloo sale. Way to go Hurricane. You go girl. No - seriously... Go - it's time to go. Scrub's gotta have a nap. Oh well - looks like she's settlin' in. (I'll just yawn a couple 'a times and leave the wife to entertain. Oh, how deliciously evil.)

Speakin' of the wife... among all her myriad of talents - she's also one of these "go into your house and make fun of everything you own, then rearrange and redecorate to make it look all purty" people. Ya know - like the ones ya see on the tube all the time. She doesn't have a token gay male friend to tag along though who is just as over the top about decorating. This makes her sad. Anyway - she just got home after spending other people's money. This makes her happy. It's a simple life, ain't it?

Well - it's February 9 or 10 or somethin. That means that we are creepin up to Valentines Day. With that in mind - Scrub does wanna set the record straight here. Scrubbie LOVES the Wife. Oodles and oodles. We have been hooked up for more than half our lives. Get that into ya! High school. Yep - there's where it all started. The wife - an artist - pretty sure I've mentioned that once before. On the front lawn of our high school - she and I sat there and she painted my running shoes. Ok, Ok - I know - it's kinda weird to read about it on the interweb, but there it is. That's what happened.

Took the darlin' to her prom. She was a hottie. Still is, as a matter of fact. Ya - Scrub did alright.

There's more to the story - I'll fill ya in later.

For now though - I'll give ya a wee peek into our smoochie lives.
Check out this SCRUBBIE SURPRISE. Says it all.

(New to a Scrubbie Surprise? - It's just a link that'll take you somewhere else - don't worry - never anything naughty)

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Take me home..... Country roads.......

Heya kids - Scrubbie here.

Meet Scrub's cuzin - Dolphin. He's a good guy. Went and saw the young feller yesterday. Had ourselves a few giggles. He's a country boy. His pappy, Scrub's Uncle, he a good 'ol boy from Logan West Virginny in the good 'ol U S of A. Dophin's pappy - one of, I dunno - like 17 kids all born au natural in the living room of the house on the mountain. Family reunion every year where the sisters get together to have tractor throwing contests etc. They all muchnie munchie on Mountain Rocks - which I understand to be deep fried hog testicles.

Excuse me? Deep fried hog testicles? Are you kiddin me?

Anyway - oh... speakin' of the West Virginny country folk - Uncle John (we all have an uncle John - don't we?) Uncle John - despite bein' a Canuck for a whole whack'a years - still has some of the good 'ol boy roots to him. And, one of his favourite sayings from the south is "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise". Bwaaa-haa-haa! Ain't that just the best? If any of ya'll are readin' from West Virgina - particularly LOGAN West Virginny - lemme know. I'll pass along to the Uncle your howdy-doody's. (BTW - I do believe that is some of the most magnificent countryside I have ever seen. Beeeeuteeeeful. I'll never forget waking up in our motel room, being shrouded in mist at the base of a mountain. There was a smell in the air that I cant describe - but has stayed with me for many many years. I think it was the smell of contentment and peace. Sorry to go all deep there.)

On a different note...

Brace yourselves. Naked Guy was at the gym again today. Dude is one Chatty-Cathy. I managed to avoid conversation with "Free Willy" - but buddy in the locker just down from me wasn't quite as lucky. As per 'da rules' - I kept out of it. (I have linked "Da Rules" from a previous post. If you haven't read Da Rules - you really should before continuing. Don't worry - we'll wait for ya. Off ya go - then come back.)

At Scrub's local workout facility, we have an infrared sauna. Kewl, eh? Anyway - this sauna is not much bigger than Scrubs indoor outhouse. It's kinda small. Good enough for two guys. MAYBE three - MAX. Us boys - we like to keep our protective bubble of dude space. Just the way it is.

So - most of the fellers at the gym - they're a good bunch. They abide by the code. They follow 'da rules. No issues. Good times. And, when they are in the infrared cubby - towels. Simple eh. Again - we boys like simple.

Ya, it's ok to sit in there bare-arsed. No problem. But - towels. Coverin' up the naughty bits. Towels.

But - some of these buds - no towels. No towels. NO TOWELS!

Awww - c'mon! That just aint right. Dude - you're sharin' space.

Ok - bad enough? NO - it gets worse.

Gals - ya know when ya'll are sittin' pretty... it's legs just so and such. Ya know?

But - us boys - ya know when we're sittin' around - we gots the legs split, right? It's no mystery - we got junk down there. And, when sittin' - ya just gotta split the legs. Make room for the boys, the family jewels, the wibbly-wobblies. Know what I mean? It's just the way it is.

So - these Non-Code fellas - at the gym - all nekkid and stuff - sittin in the infrared - they're not only lettin' it all hang out - but, they got one leg up on the side bench, while kickin' back on their own bench. You're gettin' the picture, right? I mean - GEEZ.

What really kicks it up a notch is that the 'ol infrared is all glass front and it's right by the showers - so ya got no choice but to see all the bits and pieces of these guys when ur strollin' by.

I mean - what are ya doin? Waitin for a colonoscopy? Blech.

I think I'll go and find myself some night time happy pills. I am not in the mood... not one little bit... to have dreams about that stuff.