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Wednesday, March 31, 2010

WARNING! WARNING!

Howdy kids! It's yer old pal Scrubbie here! How the frack are ya?

I know, eh.... like... seriously. I haven't had nuthin' to say.

Today.... I do.

Alrighty - got yer coffee in hand? Right then. Here we go.

So - ya'll recall the wife and me have a dear friend named Hurricane, right? Remember her? Dynamite under the driveway. Unknowingly gives theives who just cleared out a neighbours house clear directions back to the highway. Walks into someone's house thinking it was her pals... announces she's gotta pee.... only to find out all the people in the house are actually there for a wake for their dear pappy who just passed from this earth. Yep - her.

So - our dear pal Hurricane is a tireless worker. She slugs it out pretty hard every day. Trading skins and furs to keep herself in cookies and bling. But, in a moment of weakness, decided she needed a vacation. Take a little trip to where there ain't snow fer a change. And, takes her offspring with her too. Scrub - I takes them to the local airplane take-off facility and see them off.

Scrub gets back home to the igloo and with every conversation he has with pals - they all say "what's that? Hurricane? On a plane? On vacation? Geez - wonder what disaster's gonna happen now?!" Then - we all giggle.

C'mon - what are the chances, eh?

THIS IS HURRICANE! THIS IS HURRICANE, PEOPLE! The chances are 100%

While our dear pal Hurricane is basking in the sunshine in warmer locales with her two brats.... Scrub hears on the portable audio box that "Skyservice today has announced it has ceased operations and is now in receivership."

Yep - Skyservice. That's Hurricane's airline. Well - let me qualify that.... it WAS Hurricane's airline.

In one fleeting moment in time, in this... the year of our Lord, two-thousand ten... our dear pal Hurricane has managed to bankrupt and ground an entire airline.

So - on behalf of our dear pal Hurricane - I'd like to apologize to the 800+ employees of Skyservice Airlines as well as to the thousands of passengers who were either scheduled to fly to vacation destinations around the world or who are there already and are now swapping seashells and sand sculptures for space in the cargo compartments of flights to get back home.

I must point out - just as with the dynamite under the driveway... just as with the house being struck by lightening (twice)... just as with the plane that crash landed in the front yard of her igloo... somehow... SOMEHOW... "it's not 'my' fault".

No, No Hurricane. It's not your fault. But, somehow... SOMEHOW... you are the eye of the storm.

As a public service, I shall, from this day forth, post Hurricanes travel plans, whereabouts and schedules right here on this blog.

Don't say I didn't warn ya kids.

I will stop writing now and continue my last few days of guaranteed peace and serenity whilst Hurricane is outa the country. I suggest all those of you north of the border... do the same.


2 comments:

kristine said...

Good to hear from you again Scrubbie!

That Hurricane sure does have bad luck. Makes me glad I don't live in K/W. Must warn my aunt & uncle tho that do!!! lol

Karen Ellis said...

omg.. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? LOL She'll never live this down!!