Saturday, January 31, 2009

Tapinoma Sessile

It's Saturday!

Hey kids - Scrubbie here. How are ya'll doing?

This is a picture of Ant. He's a comedian. His real name is Anthony somethin-er-other.

However, this is not the ant I am talking about.

This is Aunt Cora. Aint she da bomb.

Love the hat.

Again - not the ant in question.

Aunt Jemima.

Damn- I just love Pancakes. Hot Cakes. Griddle Goodies. Flapjacks.

That pat of butter gettin' all melty and oozing it's golden goodness across the dotted surface of those delishush rounds of hot, fluffy heaven.

Golden Maple Syrup. It flows like water here in the Great White. We got oodles of the stuff. Use it to warsh our dishes sometimes. Best however when drizzled on pancakes.

Yes - I love this woman. If the wife didn't come along when she did, I wudda gone on Walkabout just to find her and court her and ask her to be my sugar-darlin' forever and ever.

Alas - not the ant I have to discuss either.

No, no - I am talking about Tapinoma Sessile. Class Insecta. Order: Hymenoptera. Family: Formicidae. Yes - I am talking about the common house ant.

Ya - that's the wee bugger - right there.


Before I continue - the wife has a thing for bugs. No - you filthy monkees - not THAT kinda thing. More of a "icky" thing. She don't like bugs. How do I know this? I am told on a daily basis. Including today - that makes... ummmmm.... 7665 days in a row that I have been told that she don't like bugs. Scrubbie's no genius... but even HE gets it after being told that many times. It is crystal clear. No question. No wiggle room. Definitive. She don't like bugs. This includes, of course, ants.

Why is this important? Well - cause the kid is 50% her fault. And, since she don't like bugs... c'mon... work it out.... YEP - you got it. The kid is pretty much on par with the wife in terms of his feelings on the little critters.

So - now that we have that all established... also important to know that the igloo here - cause we got the whale blubber gently burning in the corner - is all toasty warm inside. The wife, the kid, Scrubbie - we all like it like that. Toasty warm. The lunatic dog - ya, she is pretty much paws up on it too. BUT - it seems the little critters - ants - ALSO like it. And, the wee buggers have decided to share space with us.

And, every now and then, they pop on out for a bit of a visit.

The wife - ya, not too keen on that. The kid - equally horrified.

(lots of background info for ya here, aint there?)

Well - Scrubbie has one of those newfangled outhouses - right here inside the igloo! No kidding! INSIDE! No more running out through the snow to do the do. Seems "buggus horribleus" or "ants" have found their way through a tiny crevace and poke their little antennae out now and then to have a look-see.

The kid - not happy. Not at all. Came a'rushin' to mama and papa the other day to let us know that the igloo had been invaded by these monstrous creatures from the deep. Scrub and the wife told the kid to calm down - relax - take a Valium - "they're ONLY ants" we said. "What are you afraid of?"

The kid - in his usual goofy way - tells us that he believes they will all come out when he is there on the pot and - get ready for this - might attack his 'area' (while using his hand to demonstrate the particular place he is referring to.... ya know - the naughty bits - wibbly wobblies - ya, you get the idea.)

Might attack his AREA! Bwaaa-haa-haaa!

Well, the wife and I were in hysterics. (His 'area' - sheesh!)

Anyway - I guess Scrub's gotta go find his bug huntin' spray and put on this camo outfit and get busy.

Wish me luck. If there are no further postings - it means not only did they get my 'area' - but carried me off into the netherworld, never to be seen again.

Just in case - it's been a blast kids. Thanks for reading. Scrub loves ya.

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