Tuesday, July 21, 2009


"Please, oh please BLOG me!"

Morning kids. Yer old pal Scrubbie here.

Gotta tell ya - this whole interweb blogging thing - oodles of fun. And, the fam
all knows about it. Well - most of them do. Some of them dont. Which, if you have read some of Scrub's entries, is a good thing. I get to say what I want and still enjoy a good curry dinner now and then.

And, the fam - Gaw'd love 'em - like to plant blog seeds with Scrub. Sometimes they even do it on purpose.

Ya'll remember the Bro-In-Law, JR, right? Handsome, buff, slightly warped but happily medicated, and a magnet for naked-guy at the gym. Yep - him. Well - JR loves playin with his balls.


Geez - ya'll need more coffee or somethin. GOLF! JR likes playin' golf.

Scrub - not so much. In fact, and I think I might have mentioned this once before... Scrub was invited to play in one of those golf tournies a while back. I advised my coworkers and team that Scrub ain't a golfer. But, they insisted I'd have fun. So - went.

Well - shortly into the round, probably about the 9th hole or so, my good pal PornStar (so called cause his name is the same as a rather famous adult entertainment star with a rather long... ummmm.... schlong. There. I said it) - uuuhhhhhh - oh ya: my good pal PornStar actually said to me "Scrubbie..." he said... "Please don't EVER play golf again."

From that point forward, and in subsequent tournies - Scrub was officially the course bartender and gots to drive the golf cart thingy ensuring that everyone was socially lubricated. Yep - good for me.

Anyway - back to JR. And, his balls.

So - JR, bein a lover of the game, gets his giggles from living, breathing and eating the game of golf. And, up here in the Great White - when we are treated to a few days without the fluffly white stuff on the group - actually have a few patches of lawn set aside for people to run around and whack a few balls around and call it a game. Sure - most of the time, we just use gopher holes as targets, but, in some cases, we actually take a few mins to tidy things up and turn the lawn into somethin' quite attractive to those that do play golf.

One such case is in a burb in Ontario called Oakville. Ya - another Great White city named after nature. We are really quite fond of doing that. Makes ya wonder if we have Birch-ville. Or Pine-ville. or Daffodil-ville. Doesn't it?

And, in Oakville, this week, there is a fancy-schmancy game of golf going on. Ever heard of Mike Weir? If not - he is a golfer. Pretty darn'd good at it too. No gettin around it. Anyway - In Oakville, there is this game... the Mike Weir Charity Golf Classic. All kindsa folk joined in to play. Kevin Costner. Michael Jordan. Few other big name Golf types.

Why mention all this? Well, cause as you recall... I said JR likes the game. ALOT. So - in order to get the giggles, JR takes a few days off work to volunteer to be a hole jockey. Or whatever it is called. Basically - it's like he is the host of a hole. GawdDam - how funny does that sound. I dunno - he makes sure peoples dont get in the way. Stay behind the "keep out" fence. Dont make farty sounds when the golfers are takin their swings. That kinda stuff.

So - put all this together - and you now have the picture. Scrub's dear Bro-In-Law, JR, was hob-nobbin'! Seriously! The kid was hob-nobbin. Right there. With all them famous peoples. Geez.

JR - he's a quiet hob-nobber though. Doesn't run up for autographs. Pictures. Dinner dates. Nope - just takes a few snaps and calls it a day.

But - then again... JR is a Canuck. And, if there is one thing that we Canucks have a reputation for... it's bein polite. Ya know... don't get all in-your-face kinda people. We like it that way.

No - Canucks are not rude, obtuse, obscene.

You'd never catch us talkin all nasty and dirty. Specially on the interweb.

So, just to recap this post: Booze. JR. Naked Guy. Knobs and Balls.

Have a nice day.

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