Sunday, July 12, 2009

Big Brother is watching.

Big Brother is watching.

Evening kids - your old pal Scrub here.

I should actually say "We are watching Big Brother" instead of Big Brother is watching.

Yes - I know... I can hear the groans all the way over here in the Great White - right through the 'ol puter screen. But - c'mon... how can you resist? Besides... ya'll know that the Wife and I just cant resist that delishush thing called Reality TV. WooHoo! Throw a few whackjobs into a house. Lock the door behind 'em. Throw up a few cameras to catch their wickedly evil ways. Yep - that's entertainment! We just giggle our arses off watching these nutcases go at each other. Bowl of popcorn, couple'a tall cold diet colas, Big Brother on TV - yep... it's all good.

So - our dear friend Hurricane has a couple 'a punks of her own. And, the elder of the two - Big D - 'twas the lad's birthday on July 1st. But, he and his punk bro, H2, just arrived in Ontario couple 'a days ago. Their primary domicile is an igloo in the French part of the Great White. Anyway... Big D - turned 14. 14 I say. Sheesh. And, Scrub, every year, makes a special dinner for Big D and H2 when their birthdays roll around. They get to choose their dinner of choice, and Scrub whips it together for 'em.

This year, Big D, back in December, told Scrub that this years B-day dinner of choice should be - now brace yourselves kids... Oysters and Chicken Wings. Yes. That's right. Oysters. And Chicken Wings.

I'll wait while you pick yourselves up off the floor.

Back? Ok. So... Scrub put it together. And, the punks tucked in. Geez.

As you are well aware - Scrub and seafood. Ummmmm.... well, in a word... No. But, as Scrub loves Hurricane's punks like they were his own, I gave in and brought the devil-spawn into the shack and plated up the disgusting beasties all pretty like and presented to Big D.

Now - here's somethin a little weird. Both D and H2... they'll shovel pretty much anything down their gullet. They eat eyeballs, stomach, testicles, raw this and still squirmin that. Blech.

So - they two of them were tuckin' in for some oysters and H2 grabbed one of the nasty buggers and popped it in his mouth. Bit down. Then froze.

Oh yes - his face was ..... well.... he didn't have to say anything for us to know that biting down on his oyster was not the wisest thing to do. After a few moments of realization that it was, clearly, the most horrid and vile thing he'd ever slipped past his lips - out it slid as easily as it slid in. Yep - just shlorshed out onto his plate. We all said eeewwwww. But, then, in incredible slo-mo and high definition - everything else the lad had put down his throat today came out too.

And, again, we all said eeeewwwww.

But - being the slightly warped crew we are, also laughed our behinds off. Poor kid.

Then he laughed.

Ya - it was quite the event.

Anyway - in the end - all was good.

The dessert - well cake of course. And, chocolate, of course.

Ya know - there's just somethin about a slab of choclate cake, isn't there? One forkfull of homemade chocolate cake, creamy chocolate icing and a cold glass of milk... and everything is right with the world.

Happy Birthday Big D. We love ya pal.

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