Monday, August 3, 2009

Smile and Say Cheese.

Smile. You're on Candid Camera.

Whassup kids? Uncle Scrub at the keyboard here.

Gotta tell ya - oodles of fun. The beach. That's where we were.

The wife and me packed up the kid and Hurricane's two punks, D and H2, and made our way to a local swimmin' pond to enjoy a day of picnic'in and swimmin'. It was grand.

Now - bein a Canuck, as ya'll have come to learn - we red and whites talk about a select few things. Tim Horton's - their closest location and what to order. And, the weather.

So - we grabbed out Timmies and took full advantage of what seemed to be one of the few full out, sunshine blazin', not having to wear the woolie underthings, summer-type days goin' on 'round these parts of late.

Oh - boys and girls - Scrub doesn't mean to make ya jealous or nothin - but it was buckets of fun.

Scrub filled the picnic basket full of goodies. The wife gathered towels and sunscreen. The brats were well sugared and ready for a good time.

About D and H2: it is pretty much bred into our offspring that their primary mission in their young lives is to bug the hell out of each other. With constant pokes, jabs, drool (yes, drool) and more - their isn't a 5 min span where one isn't givin the other the business. These two - no different.

A note to parents: I often find a cattle prod an effective tool. You don't even need to use full voltage. They are kids after all. No - a couple of medium intensity shocks with the prod work wonders. Try it.

So - at the beach - good times all around.

But... there was this dude. Nice enough lookin. Sittin quiety by himself under a tree close to the wife and me. Had this camera with one of them thar lenses that was long enough to see the warts on a frogs arse a million miles away. Ya - one of them. Anyway... dude caught our eye. Well - specifically, the wife's eye.

Mother's instinct. Ya know what I mean.

So - dude was snappin a few pics. Then, would put his camera down. Beside him. Then snap a few more pics. Then, put his camera down beside him.

Harmless enough.

But - it was the WAY he was doin all this. Kinda sneaky like. Specially when other folk would saunter by his tree. Camera... kinda put down as if to hide it.

Then there was the fact that he didn't seem to be aiming his point and shoot across the pond to capture the wonderful foliage or whatever.
No - it seemed, from an onlookers point of view, that he was snappin pics of - well, I don't know.
I doubt it was the warts on a frog's arse a million miles away.

And, he was solo. No family or friends comin' up to splash water on him. Or giggle at the jiggle of some of the beach folk. Nope. Alone. Sole. One. Just him. With a camera. And a lens.

Add to all of this - he was just kind creepy lookin. Know what I mean?

Mostly though - the wife and her mother's intuition... just somethin not right there.

The wife - alerted Scrub. The protector. The provider. The MAN.

So - Scrub swallered the last bit of cookie he was enjoyin. Took a swig of his bottled water. Dusted off his hands for what was to follow. And, got up outa his chair.

Chest out. Shoulders back. Fists - clenched and ready to go.

I tell ya - the testosterone was pumpin. Could feel it! It was EXHILERATING.

This, my friends and readers, is what we boys LIVE for.

So, Scrub, now up outa his chair, begins to march. Aggressively. Purposefully. So that all those who see him or stand in his way know, without even a single word spoken, that this dude means business.

And, Scrub promptly finds the closest 16 year old beach attendant chickeyboo and says "that man is scaring us."


Nah. Seriously - just got security and advised them of the deal. Creepy dude - gone in 5 mins.

So - the kidlings, the wife and me - we beached. we picnic'd. we played. we went home.

Yep - Scrub loves them summer days.

1 comment:

BluePixo said...

Mother's instinct manifests the force that anticipates the unknown event that maybe harmful or useful to her children and family. Sometimes it is misunderstood as paranoia but it's unavoidable especially if a woman becomes a mother.

BluePixo Entertainment - A place for mom and dad to share topics about parenthood